


What's Up? (Titan Clusters)

by Cubes_and_Destiny



Category: Sense8 (TV), Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Sense8 (TV) Fusion, Canon-Typical Violence, Crying, Drama, Hard to tag for but we try, Multi, Romance is minimal it's all about the cluster, Some angst, Swearing, There's going to be feelings!!!, Titan shifting cluster
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:42:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26211370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cubes_and_Destiny/pseuds/Cubes_and_Destiny
Summary: This time being a titan shifter comes with a host other dubious benefits.That Sense8/Attack on titan cross over no one asked for. Where Eren learns who the other shifters are much much sooner and it changes everything.
Relationships: Annie Leonhart & Eren Yeager, Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Eren Yeager & Ymir, Eren and Cluster, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir, Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover
Comments: 54
Kudos: 74





	1. Cannon Ball

**Author's Note:**

> Crazy idea I had to write down! 
> 
> I've only seen the Attack on Titan anime and there's going to be some detail fudging to make things fit better, same applies with the general sense8 lore. Hopefully it'll make sense though, you don't need to know Sense8 in order to follow this. 
> 
> Please enjoy (Like! Comment! Subsc - Bookmark! If you fancy :D )

“I refuse to die like this!”

Eren screams those words just before his transformation.

The moment before he looses himself to rage he hears other voices respond to his cry.

“Wait Eren is -?”

“EREN?”

“You have got to be kidding me! Is this what it felt like when I-?”

He knows he recognises them, but names and faces start to fade from his thoughts. There’s only a blinding powerful rage. Every single titan he can get his hands on is going to pay.

* * *

Annie sensed the moment Eren was awake and immediately sought a quiet spot in the nearest storeroom. She thought visiting another member of your cluster was like a more advanced version of daydreaming. It was best done when you didn’t need to concentrate on something else, and managing to visit subtly without speaking aloud or moving your actual body – well it best done without an audience. Especially not an audience of stressed soldiers post titan encounter.

The other members of her cluster, Ymir, Bertholdt and Reiner physically joined her in the storeroom. Mentally they all joined their newest cluster member.

The sight that greets Annie senses isn’t promising.

“Cadets Eren Yeager! Mikasa Ackerman and Armin Arlet! The three of you have jointly committed an act of high treason. Whether or not a swift execution is the result depends on you.”

Eren is sprawled out on the grass barely awake, Armin crouching over him. Mikasa has her swords drawn to dissuade anyone from approaching. The guards have them backed up against wall Rose; Annie counts 30 although there are probably more behind them. Captain Woerman stands upon the raised stone steps and is clearly seconds away from panicking and yelling fire. Up on the wall behind Eren and the others is a loaded cannon aimed at their position.

Shit, Annie thinks just as Ymir hisses the same word next to her.

Eren hasn’t taken proper notice of them yet. It’s obvious to her (and to all the cluster) he’s still pretty out of it, and what attention he has to spare is on the Captain. They can all feel the post transformation exhaustion through their connection.

“Had to be fucking Eren Yeager,” Reiner grumbles, raising his hand to rub at his forehead. None of them need to say how very bad this situation is. Honestly, Annie thought that Ymir joining their cluster had been a complicated mess. At that point their infiltration mission had only just started.

This is years into the mission. This is a game changing situation and they have so little information.

“That cannon at this range is going do him some serious damage,” Bertholdt observes.

“How did he even -?”

Annie shushes them all, “We need to pay attention and get them out alive.”

She knows they’re all capable of banding together and solving the new and dangerous. They’re warriors who have been training for these kinds of situations their whole lives. She wishes that just for once though the odds weren’t stacked so high against them.

“What exactly are you? Human or Titan?” Captain Woerman asks.

Tell them you’re human Eren, Annie thinks. Even though she can see now they won’t believe it.

“I’m sorry Sir! I don’t understand the question.”

Reiner groans at his response and Ymir lets out a “fuck sake.”

Annie notices Eren hear that but he doesn’t turn around. Doesn’t acknowledge them, which, given the circumstances, is wise.

“I don’t see a way out of this that doesn’t result in a titan transformation,” Reiner whispers to his cluster. They all nod in agreement on that.

The Captain is still yelling and speculating about Eren being some kind of tactical diversion working alongside the armoured titan. Annie knows that looking back she’ll probably find parts of his monologue hilarious. Right now, though, the titan shifting cluster need to make sure their newest member doesn’t die.

“Might not be a bad idea in that sort of chaos we could probably grab him –“

“He’s going to shoot. He’s too afraid not to,” Annie interrupts, “Our best bet is going to be a body swap.”

Ymir seems to have picked up the thread of Annie’s thinking.

“Let me do it, even in Eren’s form I can scale up that wall.”

Ymir is their best climber; so Annie agrees to the plan along with the rest of the cluster.

“Ok! Somebody talk to me now. What the hell is all this?” Eren’s distress distracts them again. He’s clearly asking Armin and Mikasa though, still somehow missing the presence of his cluster behind him. Annie knows he must feel them. Feel their distant heart beats like an echo to his, he must hear their voices, but like his time as a titan it’s clearly all confusing and like grasping sand.

Despite their plan Ymir makes no move to start the switch. It’s infuriating but Annie can’t make herself move either. She’s frozen, afraid that if she startles Eren that’ll be it. They really will fire. Come on Annie, she thinks, you know inaction is death.

“One more time are you a human being or a titan?”

“I’M HUMAN.”

There was no right answer. Everyone knew that. They were going to fire regardless and the Captain’s expression says it all. Annie doesn’t listen to his next words, doesn’t think, she finally unfreezes her limbs and acts.

She reaches out and seizes Eren and their minds switch. Eren is suddenly in a storehouse, safe next to his friends.

Eren’s body bigger and taller than hers. She adjusts though and quickly draws Armin and Mikasa into her arms.

They fire the cannon.

Stop the cannon ball, save these two and climb the wall. Intention, focus and pain are the vital parts of titan transformation.

Annie goes to twist her ring; a ring with a tiny blade that provides the pain via a sharp cut, a ring that Eren _isn’t_ wearing. Cursing, Annie shifts focus.

She reaches up her hand up and sinks her teeth deep into Eren’s thumb. “Stop the cannon ball,” she thinks.

She summons enough of a titan body to stretch out her hand and just catch the ball. Saving Armin and Mikasa. Annie gasps with the effort of the transformation. Eren’s so tired. She can’t – the connection breaks and their minds switch again.

* * *

His hair is blonde. It’s blonde and in his face and he’s standing in a circle with Ymir, Reiner and Bertholdt.

“What? WHAT?”

His friends are all staring down at him. Really down at him. They were never this tall.

“Why does my body feel so - ” Eren gasps aloud, his chest feels wrong, everything is out of alignment. His heart is racing and panic is pounding through him.

“Ok Eren, you need to breathe,” Reiner tells him.

“How are you here? How we are am I? Mikasa? Armin? Where are they -?”

“Annie –? – What are all of you doing back here?” Jean’s voice comes from behind them, and Eren turns wondering if he’s actually going mad.

He doesn’t get to ask any further questions though because suddenly he’s not there anymore. Staring up at Jean, stretching out hands that aren’t his. Instead he’s trapped in something massive, his face pressing into bone and his arms and legs encased in muscles. He’s gasping and sweat is dripping off his forehead.

This has happened before. It takes a minute for Eren to realise he’s in a titan’s body, at the nap of the neck. Just like before. He can’t help the soft cries of distress he lets out as he tries to free himself. Tearing and pulling at the titan’s muscles does yield some minor results. It’s so dark. Eren feels a scream bubble up into his throat.

There’s a sudden burst of light and fresh air gently brushes his face.

“Hey, hey stop struggling I got this.”

It’s Bertholdt, he’s there, carefully and methodically pulling apart the flesh and muscle to release Eren from his prison. The outside world is dark with smoke but he can make out the shape of the wall. He’s back where he was earlier. After whatever hallucination had occurred previously. Although he’s not sure he really trusts any of his senses right now.

“What the hell is happening?!”

“Deep breathes Eren, your titan body is falling apart. You’re almost out.”

“Why should I trust you? What even was – how did I -?”

“I know you have a lot of questions but we’re here to help.”

“Like I trust you!”

“You should. I can’t lie to you Eren; look you’d be able to tell. This is bad and – look – ah – I don’t want to help you.”

He’s lying, those last words are a clear lie but it’s different to how he’d tell before. This lingers unsettlingly like a bad taste on his tongue.

“You can shift into a titan form like – like me?” Eren asks.

“No,” Bertholdt says, but he smiles as he says it and Eren feels that sensation again, like a ripple, a bad taste or perhaps a shudder. He feels Bertholdt in his mind. Feels his concern for his wellbeing pulsing next to him.

It’s reassuring enough for Eren to let him take charge and get them out of the evaporating titan form. Landing on the ground with a jolt, the key Eren always wears around his neck comes loose from his shirt. A key he keeps forgetting about. Curiously he holds it up and the last memories of his father flash through his mind.

His father is responsible. His father did this to him just after the fall of his hometown, Shiganshina, to the titans. Then his father disappeared.

“That – that was your dad right?”

In surprise Eren stares at him, “You – you saw that memory?”

“You shared it with me. It’s something we can - It took me ages to learn. Ymir was really good at it too. Although like you I don’t think she meant to initially.”

If Eren still had the energy he knows he might be shocked by this latest revelation. This strange intense connection he now shares with other cadets he knows. Other cadets who can become titans just like him.

It’s too much information all at once. Eren doesn’t know how to begin processing it. Before he can form any further questions though, Bertholdt is gone and replaced by Ymir and Annie.

Unlike the static anxiety of Bertholdt their worry is more focused. It’s a calmer thing to observe and it’s surprisingly soothing to Eren. Staring at them he notes the locks of blond hair falling over Annie’s right eye.

I was you, Eren releases. I was in your body and that means – he glances at the half formed decaying titan still emitting smoke into the atmosphere. Another piece clicks into place.

“I have a lot of questions,” he starts.

“Save it for when they’re not going to fire canons at you. I’m going to get you out of here don’t worry,” Ymir says, stepping forward to put her hand upon his shoulder.

Eren had never thought overly much of Ymir. They’d gotten along but not really been friends exactly. He doesn’t really know her like he does – or thought he did - Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie.

“Let me. I’ll get us up that wall and out of here in no time at all.”

Eren leaps back out her grasp, “No I can’t just –“

“Eren?”

It’s Armin’s voice. Eren berates himself, how could he have forgotten Armin and Mikasa? Where were they when Annie transformed? He races around the disintegrating ribs and there they are. Both safe although clearly shaken.

Armin asks how Eren he transformed into a titan. At least Eren can answer truthfully he has no idea. Relieved they’re ok, Eren then asks them the next vital thing, “Am I alone?”

They stare at him in complete confusion.

“They can’t see us,” Annie explains, “Only you can, you’re linked to us now.”

Seizing the key, Eren stares down at it in his hand.

“Eren, you’re worrying me. How did you -?” Armin attempts to ask before Eren cuts him off.

“I don’t know but my father - wherever he’s been for the last five years…it’s his fault. He’s responsible; I’m starting to remember. He gave me the key to his cellar, back home in Shiganshina and that’s -“

There’s a crashing sound and the titan form jolts alarmingly above their heads. It’s skeletal shoulders shifting forwards.

“It’s collapsing – come on get out from under there,” Ymir yells.

“Eren you need to focus,” Mikasa tells him, “we need to deal with this situation right here and now.”

They move out from the wreckage of his old crumbling titan form. The smoke providing ample cover for the moment, although it’s quickly vanishing too. Eren realises it’s only him, Armin, Mikasa and Ymir huddling together. Annie has disappeared again.

He’s thought too long and needs to make a decision. There are still angry soldiers to deal with. He recalls that Ymir had offered him the opportunity of escape and answers.

“Listen,” he tells all three of them, “I’m getting out of here. I have questions and I’m going to get answers.”

The last part he says specifically to Ymir, who nods at him.

“Where are you going to go? And how?”

Eren feels calm at Armin’s questions. There’s a clear goal in his mind and a sense of purpose. It’s easier now to choose his actions.

“I’m getting over that wall and heading straight to Shiganshina, but to do it I’ll have to become a titan again.”

“You can do that? Transform at will?”

“Not exactly, I’m – I’m connected to something now. I have memories of my dad and instincts and –“ Inspired for a moment, Eren reaches out and seizes Ymir’s forearm.

“Can you see her?” He asks them calmly.

“Annie already said idiot.” Ymir feels perfectly solid to him. He holds her forearm in his hand and is leaning close enough that he can feel the warmth of her body. He can feel her breath on his face.

Armin and Mikasa exchange a confused look.

“I’m not here. I’m – it’s like we’re sharing bodies and minds now. They can’t see me you _idiot_! We’re wasting time – holy shit.”

“Eren, your nose,” Mikasa’s words come out as a gasps. Eren reaches up and brushes away the blood dripping from his nose.

“You’re pale, your breathing is erratic – you’re not well,” Armin gasps outs.

“It doesn’t matter. That’s the least of our problems right now,” Eren states but now Armin has pointed it out he realises he’s shaking.

The frown Ymir is giving him also isn’t hopeful. Eren can guess that his body is probably pretty drained from becoming a titan. Can I even manage another one? He wonders. He doesn’t have any other choice but to do it again though.

Eren takes a steadying deep breath. He’s still holding onto Ymir’s arm, who, despite her urgency from earlier is clearly hesitating to start another transformation. Mikasa and Armin are watching him intently.

Eren hates this; Armin is always better at thinking up ideas for getting them out of difficulties. That’s what Armin does. Wait a second, Eren thinks.

“I have two ideas.”

* * *

Annie has never had any strong feelings about Jean until this moment. Right now, indifference has morphed into dislike.

Reiner stepped up to distract Jean the moment he approached, allowing for at least one continuous visitation. Someone needed to check up on Eren and Bertholdt had gotten there first.

Reiner had then had a moment of inspiration. The noise, the smoke and the sight of a half formed titan were a perfect excuse to race up over the rooftops and check it out. No one had confiscated their gear after all.

Jean, unable to help himself had followed Reiner. Leaving Annie and Ymir to go join Bertholdt and Eren.

There’s a lot of noise outside, soldiers distracted by the explosion. Wary of their position being found out Annie checks again on their physical forms.

“I’m going to physically join Reiner,” Bertholdt tells her, “see if I can convince anyone coming this way to join me.”

There’s no real benefit to it but Annie doesn’t stop him going. Perhaps a greater audience might be useful.

She keeps a look out for a bit, wary of the sound of nearby voices. Ymir is muttering next to her, but Annie can’t make out the words. She resolves to check in a moment once the two soldiers hovering in the entryway leave. A few agonising beats later they finally do, without having spotted them amongst the stores.

She waits another beat, and then once the silence reassures her, she visits Reiner and Bertholdt on the rooftop. From this vantage point she can see they’ve almost finished reloading the cannon and others are being turned around to lock onto Eren’s position.

“They’re not climbing,” Annie hisses.

Bertholdt turns to stare at her, his eyes wide and fearful, as he hisses, “What do we do?”

Jean, who she really dislikes now, tells Bertholdt there’s nothing they can do.

Annie visits Ymir and Eren as Armin says, “I will persuade them. You two just act as nonaggressive as you can ok?”

Mikasa and Eren nod as Ymir turns to face her.

“Why aren’t you moving?” Annie snaps; her composure is on a knife-edge. Eren’s still in danger, one of her cluster is still in danger. There’s been so little time for anything but him surviving this, and sitting here like ducks isn’t solving that problem.

“Armin is going to convince them to use Eren as a weapon against the titans.”

“What?” Annie asks, feeling the edge of irritation boil up inside. They need to run. They should already be running. The cannon has been reloaded! The military are afraid now but the titan’s body is almost gone and then the real fighting will start.

Ymir huffs “Stop looking at me like that. I think that if Armin can talk this situation down then Eren has a better shot at coming out of this alive.”

Annie considers just giving up her long-held secrecy in that moment. She could just shift into her titan and seize Eren’s human form. It would solve a lot of issues. And ruin their mission. She looks at Eren, surely they could persuade him to run – was he staying behind for Armin and Mikasa?

Eren’s focus is clearly on Armin as he strides forth into the sunlight. It strikes Annie then just how pale he looks, the clear tremor running through his whole body. He’s not used to this. They are titan shifters, they can take a lot of damage but Eren is reaching his limit.

She swallows, realising why Ymir hasn’t pushed him to escape. Another transformation will hurt Eren even if they do it. His body needs at least some recovery time. If Ymir takes him and tries to run and they fire at him –

Hurt (maybe kill) Eren or reveal their secret, or quite possibly both the way things are going.

Annie shifts her gaze to Armin. Armin who’s right now pleading his case in a clear voice, advocating for Eren’s strategic value and their lives by extension. Eren believes he can end this without bloodshed, and for a moment she hopes he’s right. She hopes for Eren’s faith to be rewarded.

Armin pleads their case, stands his ground and faces death. Annie can’t bear to look away; some intense swelling of emotion lodged in her chest.

And for a moment Captain Woerman hesitates.

Then the moment passes and his calm cracks giving way to hysteria.

It was a fool’s hope. Annie has always known there would never be a non-violent option. It’s never come to pass in her life that words saved her from a fight. For a moment though she had hoped and the disappointment tastes bitter.

They watch the Captain’s arm rise. They watch him prepare to give the order to fire again. Annie reaches out to seize Eren’s shoulder, her heart leaping up into her throat. He might not survive this. He’ll be badly hurt at least and they will have to break cover. They’ll have to –

“That’s enough.”

The voice of Commander Pixis snaps the tension, like a puppet freed from its string Annie collapses. She braces her hands against the ground; her knees ache from the ground and Eren falls back to lean against her. She doesn’t mind the weight. His heart beat, his breath, his real physical form. She feels her eyes start to blur with tears of relief.

Ymir doesn’t even bother sitting but falls onto her back. Gasping in relief next to them. She grins shakily up at Annie.

“Let’s never do that again,” she exclaims and Annie manages a weak smile at her.

Commander Pixis surveys them from his position next to Captain Woerman, he continues, “I think we can at least do these young soldiers the favour of hearing them out.”


	2. Ask the right question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished hammering this chapter into shape! :D Everyone gets the chance to breathe, reflect and ask some questions. 
> 
> Please leave your thoughts or a kudos! Stay safe X

Eren’s back hitting the floor is what lets him know that Annie is gone. Glancing over he sees Ymir has also disappeared. He feels another twinge of anxiety, now he’s going to have to explain everything, when he doesn’t even understand what everything is.

Where they even real? He wonders, where they _actually_ his fellow cadets? His friends? It’s hard to remain certain now that those questions have filtered through his mind. Warily he stands as requested.

Commander Pixis will hear the three of them out.

The trip to the top of the wall to get some privacy gives Eren enough time to dismiss some of his uncertainties. They must have been real. This connection must be a result of his titan shifting abilities. That hard fact doesn’t chase away all his doubts but it helps.

Annie, Ymir, Bertholdt and Reiner are all titan shifters. Just like him. They’re also more knowledgeable and more skilful than him. How long have they been hiding this ability? Are there more of them?

His thoughts start to race through different possibilities. He feels like he would know if there were more titans (intelligent titans) specifically connected to him like the others. However, what about beyond the walls? What about those connected if not to him but to each other? How did his dad even give him this ability? So many questions and the latter is one that Commander Pixis is definitely going to ask.

With that thought a thorn of dread twists in his stomach. How does he explain his seeing Annie, Ymir, Reiner and Bertholdt?

He’s angry with them for hiding this ability but – but what happens if he does name them? He thinks of the fear of the soldiers, of the canon fire he’s just blocked. What if he is wrong or mistaken somehow?

He doesn’t want to accuse without knowing for certain. Doesn’t want to accuse without asking them _first_. Having settled on this resolves he decides that until he gets to interrogate them on his own, they’re just visions – which to be fair, perhaps they really are.

Once atop Wall Rose, Commander Dot Pixis, the man in charge of the southern territories and a known eccentric, doesn’t waste any time.

“Explain.”

Haltingly, Eren does. He talks of a locked memory and a key and how he first transformed through instinct. He mentions that he sees visions of other people (he omits who they look like) and that according to his father all the answers lie in a cellar buried underneath the rubble of his old home.

Eren knows he’s blurred a line here. Mixing the words visions in with memories and instinct. He doesn’t know what the others are or what they’re doing, and it’s a lie of omission. One he’s not certain he’ll get away with.

Pixis asks him outright, “These visions that instruct you, can you ignore them?”

“Yes Sir,” he asserts. He goes on to explain that he can converse with them. They offer assistance in the transformation. They appear more in brief fragments especially when he’s shifting.

Pixis then directs him to talk more of his father and those memories. Eren does as asked.

Once he’s finished Pixis says, “That’s that. So, visiting this cellar should clear everything up.” Eren can’t see his face as he says this, Pixis having turned away to gaze out across the city of Trost.

“Yes Sir. Well at least I think so.”

Surely, Eren thinks, his father would have answers for the extra heartbeats he feels next to his. The others, the visions, they haven’t answered anything and they’ve not appeared at all. He’s alone on top of the wall.

“For the moment there’s no way to validate any of your claims. So, I’ll just catalogue them in my head.”

With these words Commander Pixis turns to face the three of them. Mikasa and Armin had been silent throughout his story. Eren is certain that Armin is adding all the extra details to his mental notes as well.

Pixis stares straight into them.

“I can usually tell the difference between the unctuous and the sincere, which is why I personally guarantee your safety.”

It’s another wonderful moment of intense relief. Of course, it doesn’t change all the other problems that Eren is still faced with. Commander Pixis turns his attention then to Armin and his spur of the moment plan he’d suggested to reclaim the city of Trost from the titans.

It’s simple in essence. Have Eren assume titan form and block the broken gate up with a boulder. Eren tells Pixis the truth when asked if he can lift the boulder, which is that he’s not fully certain of his abilities or his own control over them.

So Pixis asks a different question, “Are you willing to try?”

The answer to that of course is yes.

* * *

The military call Bertholdt, Reiner and Jean down off the roof pretty quickly after Pixis’ arrival. They also have to surrender their gear and get slapped with another no disclosure order. The same one they got hit with after escaping Trost, it amounts to don’t talk about Eren to anyone else on pain of court marshal.

“What a pile of crap,” Jean hisses stomping next to them.

Bertholdt nods but that’s about all he can manages. He feels shaky and unsteady on his feet. Eren’s alive, Eren’s a cluster member and what on earth do they do now?

The original plan is clearly off the table. It has to be. Reiner and Bertholdt can’t assume their Titan forms and continue the attack now. Eren would _know._ Eren _already_ knows plenty and has agreed to be used as a weapon for their enemy.

“Ever thought Jager would be a titan?”

Bertholdt can’t get any words out. They stick in his throat; he just shakes his head at the question from Jean. Reiner gives a more committed response. Commenting on the strangeness of the situation.

They jostle verbally back and forth for a moment but again Bertholdt can’t quite seem to focus. There’s a buzzing inside his mind. There’s a new titan shifter, who even now might technically still be their enemy

Bertholdt recalls Eren’s memory, the last time he saw his father alive. He doubts Eren has realised or even remembers that in order to inherit a new titan form you have to eat a titan shifter.

“Bertholdt?” Reiner asks, his hand out stretched barely grazes the side of his arm.

Bertholdt blinks and starts, “Oh, yeah. What?”

“You doing ok?” Jean asks. Reiner doesn’t ask because he doesn’t have too. Reiner can sense the edges of Bertholdt’s feelings, could probably hear the buzzing in his ear if he made the right effort to do so.

It makes everything easier between them, or at least it does for Bertholdt, to have Reiner be a cluster member. Feeling slightly desperate for contact Bertholdt reaches out and takes Reiner’s hand, fingers entwined.

After another steadying breath Bertholdt can answer Jean, “Yeah, just unexpected, you know, unexpected.”

It takes Jean a moment to respond, his eyes glued to their clasped hands. Then flushing slightly, he straightens and bolsters on, “You’re telling me. Damn it, how could he even _do_ something like that? How could Eren – ugh, and that’s not even starting in on whether Armin has a plan or not to retake Trost.”

“Knowing Armin, I’ll bet he does,” Reiner counters.

They’re not giving much more time to converse. The arrival of Pixis and his troops means something and has given the camp a new kind of energy. They are ordered to re-join their cadet squad, clearly a plan is being put into motion and the opportunity to make a subtle visit to see Eren becomes nigh on impossible.

All the remaining fighting fit military are eventually assembled, clearly with the goal of receiving their new orders. Those orders don’t come quickly though, giving plenty of time for the tension in the air to build. The reactions to the tension vary in design and scale; there are fearful mutterings followed by angry calls to order, hissed disagreements break out but no one resorts to violence on each other. Not yet at least.

Bertholdt sneaks his hand again into Reiner’s whilst they wait, inspired by Ymir whose wrapped an arm around Christa’s shoulders. Annie stands at parade rest, her clenched hands the only outward sign that the situation is affecting her.

Bertholdt is used to the presence of his cluster, used to checking in on everyone regularly like stretching a limb after being still too long. Eren’s presence is a strange addition to the mix. He feels constantly aware of him but also out of tune, like a bright light he can’t quite look at but is impossible to ignore. Bertholdt imagines that will settle given time. Eren feels calm but there’s an edge of simmering anger, which is probably normal for Eren.

He lingers on the idea of visiting again but in the end decides against it, not wanting to divide his attention. The rest of the cluster need to know what the militaries next steps are before they can adjust their plans accordingly. Realistically they can’t leave Eren in the hands of the military.

Bertholdt longs for the simplicity of the original plan for Trost. The scouts were gone, the defences were down and all they had to do was let Zeke (the clusters true commander) round up the necessary titans for a full herd assault. Bertholdt and Reiner could break the wall as they’d done before for Maria. If that chaos didn’t finally bring the founding titan out of hiding, then the next plan involving Annie moving into the capital began.

All in all, it was quite an easy plan really, sow chaos to draw out and capture the founding titan, then return home heroes having dismantled the civilisation of monsters within the wall.

Reiner’s grip tightens, bringing Bertholdt out of his thoughts. Commander Pixis is ready to address the troops.

“Here we go,” Reiner whispers.

There is indeed a plan to attempt retaking Trost. The linchpin of it focuses on the use of Eren’s titan form. A titan form he barely has any control over.

“Well shit,” Ymir curses rather loudly.

* * *

Eren knows technically he’s at the centre of a whirlwind of motion but in practice he’s awkwardly standing around the top of the wall. Not quite watched but not quite a part of things yet. He can’t escape Mikasa’s eye, but she’s been drawn into a conversation with another Captain. It’s the best moment he’s going to get.

Hovering a little by the canons, which had, only about an hour ago been aimed at him, Eren takes a deep breath.

After breathing he tentatively, quietly calls, “Annie? Ymir? Reiner? Bertholdt?”

He’s planned out exactly what he’s going to say. He’s going to help get Trost back from the titans and he’s going to get some answers from the others.

This would be better if he could seek them out in person but that’s clearly not going to happen. Despite his calls though, they don’t appear like before. Frustration rising Eren places his hand over his chest and closes his eyes. If he listens he can feel it, feel heartbeats echoing his own, faintly, distantly.

He stares down over the wall, watching the soldiers gather their gear and move to their associated positions. That requires a little down time surely. Perhaps they’re to busy. Perhaps he really did imagine them after all? There’s a tight sinking sensation in his stomach as he realises he might have to do this on his own.

“So whose idea was lifting the boulder? Armin’s?”

Eren jumps but manages to contain himself enough that nobody nearby looks at him in alarm.

Ok, coast clear, he focuses on Ymir, Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner. There they all are. Standing right in front of him.

“It’s really you. All of you.”

“Your cluster? Yeah that’s –“ Reiner starts but Eren cuts across him. There’s a battle coming and they need to focus on getting through this.

“Listen I don’t have a lot of time before they call me back. I want answers. You can all shift into titan bodies like me and we’re all connected together like this because we’re titan shifters? You are all really who you appear to be? Not the product of my imagination?”

All of them laugh to some degree at that last statement – even Annie cracks a smile. Eren feels his face shift into a frown and a fury start to rise in his belly at their attitude.

Reiner notices though and quickly says, “Nothing personal Eren, but yeah we’re definitely your friends from the cadet corps. Also, yes, we’re all titan shifters and yes, you’re one of us now. It’s sort of – like being alive is now a shared experience. We share memories and experiences and are sort of the same person but also separate, a titan cluster.”

That word titan does not ease the boiling in Eren’s blood but the answers are good. It helps. And now he has a word for what they are, cluster.

“Ok, I believe you.”

“We can’t lie to you Eren,” Bertholdt reminds him, “not anymore.”

“Then later I’m going to ask you all about why you hide this power for years, years from the rest of humanity. If you were scared about them knowing then – well considering how things have gone I get it but you can’t hide forever right? Not after I use this power to retake Trost. First though I have to know are you on the titans side?”

The words are you titan or are you human flash through Eren’s mind. A hard knot sinks into his stomach at the terrifying comparison. He’s thought about this though. Twisted this question over and over in his mind. They lied to everyone but they joined the military and he needs to know their motivations now. He needs to be able to trust that their goals align.

They can’t lie to me and I’m not going to let fear get the best of me, Eren thinks fiercely. For humanity I’m going to be better and they have to help me.

“Are you on the side of the titans or humanity?” He clarifies.

The smirk that Reiner gives him throws Eren for a second, “Oh humanities side. Definitely.”

Bertholdt chokes and then stutters out a quiet humanity as Annie says, “I’m not on the titans side.”

They’re telling the truth.

Ymir on the other hand looses all composure and breaks down into a proper cackle.

The other three glare at her whilst Eren stares in confusion. This continues for a moment till Annie kicks her shin.

“Ah – for the love of – alright, alright. Look Eren. I don’t have the same motivations as any of you. The only side I care about is ours.”

“Ours?”

“Our cluster. This is it. You four idiots, although I suppose I’ll have to include Armin and Mikasa since you care about them, and my Christa. You know none of us are lying.”

“You joined the corps for them?”

“Guilty as charged. Look we’re almost out of time. You want some titan shifting help or not? Your scary girlfriend is getting twitchy over there.”

Eren doesn’t bother to correct Ymir; he’s yelled at everyone enough times about his and Mikasa’s relationship, and Mikasa is indeed casting glances his way. Clearly caught in a conversation she can’t quite escape and worry is etched into her features.

Annoyance and irritation prickle in his stomach but he forces it down. It doesn’t matter now; he’s solving his own issues without _her_ help. He and the others – his cluster are on side. His cluster, he tastes the word back and forth over in his mind. So, they’re on side, he can trust them to help. All the other questions he’ll save for after.

Which leaves the actual retaking of Trost, luckily Reiner seems to already have a plan for helping out. The idea is pretty simple, a drawn-out body switch between the two of them.

“Like when Annie and I switched?”

“Exactly. We’re always connected but most of the time it’s faint unless we’re visiting. Which is what we’re doing right now. You can come visit us – we’ll have to teach you that later, it’s a breeze though. Bodying switching though bit harder; make sure you focus on the physical all right? Trust my body ok?”

Eren feels a flicker of unease at the words, the idea of someone else using his body. Operating it whilst he’s elsewhere and taking control. He hadn’t really contemplated that.

Ymir puts her arm upon his shoulder clearly sensing his unease, “It’s all a bit weird but you get used to it. It’s kinda nice not being alone you know. Having us around the whole time. You’ll see.”

It’s not the exact worry he has but he also sees the comfort she’s trying to provide. It’s not like Reiner can run off with his body and leave him behind. They’re all together, always.

“Also, once I block up that boulder, we could make a break for it,” Reiner continues.

Eren inhales sharply at that, staring at him, “What?”

“Yep, boulder goes down. I make a break for it in your form. One of us is ‘lost’ in the chaos to come help you out and off to Shiganshina we go.”

“It would give us all the privacy and the chance to answer questions,” Bertholdt agrees.

“Makes sense if I’m the one who disappears with you,” Annie adds, her cool gaze meeting Eren’s.

Ymir goes incredibly stiff beside Eren as he stares. The idea is – certainly tempting. No rules, no one else but his cluster (he deliberately doesn’t look at Mikasa as he thinks this) and he could get the information he wants. He could beat a bloody path to the cellar – and then what? What _would_ happen to Armin and Mikasa? If he goes could he ever come back?

It’s – it’s not the plan he wants. He wants to do this for humanity and he needs them onside before…

Eren’s answer is no but he feels himself frozen under the expectant gaze of his cluster.

Pixis’ words come back again to haunt him, “Can you ignore them?”

The right question – the question Pixis was really asking – can they control you?

“No,” Eren says, and then after a pause he continues firmly, “No I’m staying here. I’m not leaving Armin and Mikasa. Neither should you want to. I – we can do a lot of good now working for the military. You shouldn’t be hiding these powers. You can’t make me go.”

Eren doesn’t mean it to but he knows that the final sentence comes out as more of a question. A hint of fear at the idea that he’s completely at their mercy, and a strong surge of anger raises to counter act it.

Reiner breathes out through his nose, “Nah, we can’t.”

“Then we retake Trost. And together with the others we go get the answers from my father’s cellar.”

I’m not running off and leaving them, Eren promises to himself. I’m going to use this power to destroy all the titans in my way and reclaim the world.


	3. Retaking Trost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cluster join the mission to retake Trost and have slightly different priorities.
> 
> NOT DEAD! 
> 
> Have another chapter everyone hope you're staying safe :) 
> 
> Mild warnings due to violence, swearing and some dubious light kisses (I basically question consent regards clusters, the kisses are on the check and neck but the situation is unusual).

Reiner and Eren switch just as Eren’s bodyguards (captors) call for the mission to begin. Whatever his own personal frustrations about the subject, Reiner has to bury them deep. He stretches and flexes inside Eren’s body, getting used to his smaller size. Reiner can’t help but stare at the thinness of Eren’s wrists.

Part of the reason Reiner had volunteered for the swap was under the assumption that his body would be less jarring for Eren. He’d forgotten how strange he’d find it though, inhabiting a new body for an extended period of time.

Reiner lets the sensations wash over him whilst his mind focuses on his next move. So plan A “convince Eren to escape” was out the window, that left plan B – kidnapping Eren during the switch and doing their best to make sure he didn’t notice. Clear goal; improvise as they went, pretty much every mission of his life so far.

All right Reiner, he thinks, let’s improvise. He reasons that going along with mission to block up the Trost’s gate would get him an escort to the wall and, once the mission is accomplished, his ODM gear would do for getting him over the wall.

Resolved, he joins the elite team of soldiers (somehow including Mikasa) as they begin their journey across the wall. As they progress Reiner realises he has no idea (aside from Mikasa) what his companies names are.

A guilty pang shoots through his chest before he brushes it off. It doesn’t matter, he thinks. Getting Eren safely away is all that matters and that’s only going to get easier the more ground they cover.

They make quick progress along the wall and Reiner knows he’s grinning, caught up in the thrill of the moment. A plan in motion, moments away from contact and he feels ready for it. Ready for the fight. He’s always felt this was something him and Eren shared.

There’s the constant reassuring presence in the back of his mind where the others are. He doesn’t pull or press on it. Focuses instead on his breathing, on the sunlight beaming down on them, on clenching his hands and feeling the sensation. He’s barely started; the last thing he wants to do is switch back.

In the interests of focusing on this goal he notices Mikasa casting glances at him.

“Stop looking at me like that. Focus on what we’re doing.”

Mikasa gives a small frown and Reiner regrets his comments. He thought that was pretty in character for Eren. Titans, titans and more titans’ right? He faces forward again but Mikasa continues, “Eren, listen to me. Whatever happens, I want you to know I’m going to stay by your side until the end. I promised.”

Her tone is earnest and her eyes are so intent. Reiner’s throat closes up, in the face of her devotion. She’s not – this is – a series of emotions twist around inside of him and he blurts out, “This isn’t the end. So, I wouldn’t even worry about it. We’re going to be just fine, trust me.”

He aims for a reassuring grin but it’s hard to know if that has in any way convinced Mikasa. The open emotion on her face has hidden itself away. Her gaze has narrowed slightly. I don’t know how to pretend to be Eren, Reiner frantically realises. Is there some other comment she’s expecting? Some other promise he always makes before going into battle?

They move in silence for the remaining time whilst these questions tick over his brain. It doesn’t help his concentration. He shakes off the double image of another part of the wall where Eren is with his body.

The Captain of their group halts the expedition and they have a few precious frozen seconds before engagement. Reiner brushes away the jitters; Mikasa can suspect Eren of all manner of strange behaviour. It doesn’t matter and it doesn’t change anything. After all, she can’t stop him escaping.

Feeling buoyant at this realisation and a little sorry that Mikasa’s devotion is going to come to an end, he decides on a parting gift. Turning in a pivot he seizes her wrist, leaning over the swords she’s already drawn and plants a light kiss to the side of her cheek.

“Stay alive Mikasa.”

The signal is given and the mission is a go. Reiner transforms into a titan.

* * *

Eren trips almost immediately after switching into Reiner’s taller body.

“Don’t fight the instincts, his body knows what he’s doing. You have to trust that,” Bertholdt hisses, catching Eren before his falls. Embarrassed, Eren brushes him off.

“Alright, alright I got it.” He could do that. They were moments away from another titan engagement. Eren reasoned he kind of had no choice.

Reiner’s body is strange, or being in Reiner’s body is strange. Now he’s really looking down at Annie, and whilst moving into position he misjudges how broad his shoulders are and knocks into Bertholdt at least twice.

How am I supposed to fight like this? Eren wonders a panic starting up inside him. He takes several calming deep breaths, trying to keep his attention in the moment and ignoring the pull of the minds and his actual body.

Ymir slaps him soundly on the back before being moved further along the line. “Here and now,” she chirrups. He resists an urge to punch her, although he has to admit the sting from where her hand made contact helps a little with the focusing.

He operates his ODM gear safely down into Trost and after that it gets easier. It takes a while, but like breathing, Eren realises that as long as he doesn’t linger too long in thought on any action then he can do it.

Bertholdt and Annie stay close, both physically and via visiting. Ymir has been assigned elsewhere and lost early in the fray. He can feel she’s safe though, or he can feel her racing heartbeat at least. He turns his attention away from the connection again.

“Here and now,” he mutters to himself. Their part of the mission is basically distracting the titans, as far away from (Reiner) Eren as possible. The Titans are just as horrifying up close as last time. Their strange uncanny human faces, their lurking puppet movements, just as disgusting. Such creatures really shouldn’t be active during the daytime.

Eren’s body (or he supposes Reiner’s body) hums with satisfaction after managing to cut one down. He’s pleased he doesn’t at any point freeze with fear, that his training and anger keep him (and Reiner) safe. It could be hours or minutes before he finds himself with a breather, alone on a rooftop with no titans close by. Bertholdt scrambles up next to him and, both panting, they pause for a minute, enjoying being alive.

Eren turns to his companion intending to ask about Reiner’s status when he feels a sense of alarm race through Bertholdt. He’s starting intently behind and just to the left of Eren. Frowning Eren follows his line of sight and – there’s nothing to see. They’re the only two atop the building.

“Bertholdt?” The man in question jumps a bit and turns back to Eren while feigning a smile, but Eren can practically feel his apprehension. Actually, wait, he can feel it, of course he can, just like the feelings of alarm. Eren pushes through the fog of someone else’s (is ever going to get used to this?) feelings and asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” A lie, Eren tastes it like before on his tongue and Bertholdt’s face drops into an incredibly guilty look. Furious Eren charges forward into Bertholdt’s personal space. They can’t go around keeping secrets – especially not whatever this is.

Except – except he has been trusting Reiner’s body’s instincts.

This close Eren can feel Bertholdt’s breath on his face and smell his sweat; he has to look up into his wide eyes. There’s a sharp delicious twist in Eren (Reiner’s) stomach that derails his thoughts. His mouth feels dry and his face warm. He can’t think and therefore only acts, letting Reiner’s body respond to the familiar situation.

He brings his arms up to hold Bertholdt, mindful of his swords, and presses his mouth just below Bertholdt jaw. The rough stubble tingles against his lips and – oh god, Eren feels like he’s on fire what is happening?

He freezes awkwardly as Bertholdt goes stiff and unresponsive in his arms.

“Ugh guys? Sorry to interrupt but we’ve got a 9 metre closing in.”

Eren leaps back from Bertholdt to see Marco standing close by, clearly slightly winded but smiling at them rather softly.

“THIS IS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE,” Eren immediately blurts out in embarrassment. Bertholdt doesn’t say anything and rather determinedly avoids eye contact with either of them. Eren wants to kick him. This is so embarrassing.

“Don’t worry, your secret’s is safe with me,” Marco continues soothingly, “I’m certain these things are an open secret kind of situation anyway.”

“We’re not – we’re – there are titans. The titans are the only things that any of us should be caring about it. After that, when humanity is properly free is the time to think about other ordinary things.”

“Now you sound like Eren.”

Eren has no idea how to answer that. Bertholdt, with his face burning red, starts to laugh, “I think Eren has had an influence on all of us.”

“He’s something of a vanguard type person isn’t he? Do you think he just got so angry he became a titan?”

This exchange is cut short when an impatient Annie takes down the approaching titan.

Eren gratefully returns to focusing on staying alive.

* * *

“Don’t trip.”

Reiner groans. Buried deep inside the titan form he hears Ymir’s voice. She’s standing on his shoulder, the one not hefting the boulder obviously, talking straight into his ear. Annie had been doing a perfectly fine job of checking in. Ymir should be focusing on keeping herself alive.

He’s almost at the gate, or giant hole in the wall would be more accurate, and to the credit of the garrison they have been keeping the titans off his back.

“Thanks for dropping the new plan on me there,” Ymir continues. Reiner does feel a twinge of guilt over not keeping Ymir up to date. She wasn’t exactly part of their mission after all, as she regularly reminded them. There also hadn’t been a lot of time to update her in the first place.

“We didn’t have a lot of time –“

“Yeah – yeah look I’m almost with you – Annie and Bertholdt have been keeping Eren out of trouble and given your obvious kidnapping plan – I’ll disappear with Eren over the wall alright? Keep him alive, gets us both out of the way of your grand plan.”

Reiner adjusts his hold slightly and pauses for a moment to allow the soldiers to take down another titan coming towards him. It’s not a bad plan, makes things easier although it does mean that there’s no easy way for them to meet up with Zeke. He says as much before continuing to move.

“Why meet up with Zeke at all?” Reiner can’t help it; he freezes at the suggestion, a dangerous move really given their situation. He quickly starts forward again before addressing her comment.

“Very funny,” he tries, “But you can’t - ”

“I’m on our side Reiner - and you really think that Zeke won’t have Eren eaten? He’s of no use to your plan and you’re just going to hand him over to the cause?”

Reiner feels a twisting in his gut, that’s part of the point. Part of what they signed up for. Death was coming and they had a mission, a responsibility. If Zeke saw fit to – if Zeke –

“If that’s what has to be done,” is what he says but the twisting horror in his stomach settles there. Eren’s cluster, they’d feel every moment of it, every moment of his spine being cracked opened and the fluid made to run. Scarified to their cause. Reiner knows he could achieve the same aim if he just put down the boulder now and let the damn titans eat him.

And Ymir feels his anxiety and uncertainty on the subject. She presses her case ruthlessly, “Or we run. I know somewhere safe or safe enough, we could hold up for awhile. Away from Zeke, your plan, these sorry people.”

“They’re not people – they’re monsters just like –“

“Just like us actually. Quite why we’re not on their side I have no idea. Wouldn’t even be that hard, considering how eager that Commander was to utilize Eren –“

“Fuck off Ymir. Now is not the time – Shit!“

“DAMN IT! Reiner put the boulder down. You’ll have to fight him! Don’t die you idiot!”

During the course of their conversation they had finally reached the wall. Just as another titan had clambered through the opening. Boulder down, Reiner takes it down quick and hard. Eren’s titan form is vicious.

Ymir has vanished, but he knows he’ll be seeing her soon. They can deal with her notions of defecting later, first though Reiner heaves the boulder into place. Blocking up the entrance to Trost, really if they had some time then Annie’s abilities would be much better suited to this sort of work – Reiner squashes those thoughts immediately. He has a kidnapping to finish.

It’s a quick thing to escape from the confines of Eren’s titan form and use Eren’s gear to scale the wall in his human form. There are no troops above and he turns and spies a figure racing along the wall towards him. Ymir, only minutes away.

He can’t wait for this chaos to be over. Down over the wall won’t be safe but at least the intrigue will stop. Then it’ll just be a case of getting them to Zeke. He watches the flare for their victory ark up in a glorious green line whilst he waits impatiently.

Then he realises he’s not alone after all.

“Eren!”

It’s Mikasa. His eyes track the steam coming off her swords as the titan blood evaporates into the air, swords she’s doesn’t lower.

Shit, Reiner thinks. Come on Reiner, think, what would Eren do? He says the first thing that comes to mind, “I’m going to Shiganshina Mikasa. I have to know what my father - ”

“Give him back.” Mikasa hisses, her voice is cold and her expression is hard.

There’s a silence, a long aching one. Reiner waits another beat – hoping that he might convince her without a fight but the time is ticking down, what if others of the military join them? His musing is cut short as Annie visits next to him.

“If you’re going to go you need to go now.”

“I know that.”

“You keep doing that _Eren_. Talking to voices that aren’t there, whoever you are I’m not -”

“Go,” Annie hisses and she’s right. The sooner they run they better. That flare means Eren is going to want to switch, that more military are coming and Ymir’s not with them yet. He turns to flee and Mikasa comes after him. She’s fast, faster than him and he goes down and there’s a sharp pain in his forearms as he badly catches his fall. The stone is warm beneath his hands.

Annie whispers by his ear, “Let me.”

Relieved, Reiner switches with Annie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let the plot deviation begin.
> 
> (Also Bertholdt what did you see? XD)


	4. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alternative Chapter Title: Eren and Ymir go on a (titan) road trip!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's reading/commenting/following etc :D it's fantastic
> 
> I finally hammered this chapter out and typically the number of chapters has crept up oh dear. I increased the number of chapters in order to make sure the length of each chapter stays fairly consistent. Certain things have taken longer in the writing than expected but that is the way. 
> 
> I hope you're all staying safe out there! Cubes X

Eren catches sight of the green signal flare whilst he and Bertholdt are fighting a 10-metre titan. There’s an instant spark of euphoria in his chest.

We did it, Eren thinks. We actually did it. All that’s left is cleaning up the last of the titans in Trost.

The titan makes another swipe for him and he shifts his ODM gear just in time to escape its grasp, but not in time to escape the closest roof. He ends up ungracefully skidding to halt on his hands and knees. He mumbles an apology to Reiner for the scrapes as he gets back to his feet.

Eren also decides he’s going to get Annie or Bertholdt to check if he can switch back yet, he’s had enough of being another person. As though summoned Annie reappears in his line of sight. She yells for him to move and Eren scampers back across the roof, away from the titan’s lurching arms as it reaches for him.

It falls to Annie’s blades moments later. She turns to grin up him as the titan begins to disintegrate.

Annie is grinning at him.

Eren blinks in surprise at her. She’s not normally so expressive. And perhaps it’s the steam from the decaying titan but she seems _blurred_ at the edges almost. Like he can see the shape of Annie but there’s another kind of shadow around her.

Eren blinks at her again.

Annie noticing his expression moves towards him.

“You alright Eren?” Her voice sounds the same. Except that now she’s closer…

The half misty form suddenly solidifies and – and it’s Reiner. Eren blinks again and he can see Annie’s body. See Annie’s face twisting into open comprehension.

“Reiner?”

“You noticed that fast huh?”

“What – of course – is that how you see me?”

“Yeah, I’m definitely looking at you rather than looking at my body. You’ll get used to it. It all becomes less strange after the first time.”

Bertholdt’s yell distracts them and they both clock another titan closing in. Annie (Reiner but in Annie’s body) reaches (really reaches) up to seize Eren’s arm, “Come on.”

“But my body – where’s Annie?”

“Dealing with another problem. Same rules as before – don’t let me get eaten.”

Eren swallows his curiosity and apprehension. He can’t think of a problem Annie could solve that Reiner couldn’t. The need to not get eaten though forces him into motion again. It’s like earlier with Annie and Bertholdt constantly in sight but – but it’s not Annie because it’s Reiner.

And something is clearly wrong, Bertholdt is shooting all these concerned looks and Eren has been ignoring their bond as best he can, but there’s this anxiety pulsing at the back of his mind.

What kind of problem is Annie dealing with? Eren wonders.

Eren hesitates after taking down the next titan. His arms are shaking and his (Reiner’s) body is starting to ache. He’s tired. Suddenly the noise in his head is that much louder and Eren pulls on the strings connecting him to Annie. Feels _her_ exhaustion.

He can’t help poking at the why, what other secrets are they all keeping from him again?

His version blurs before him and the pull of his cluster snaps his control.

Eren switches.

He comes to in his own body. He knows immediately and instinctively it’s his.

His body is also in the hand of a titan, a titan that is sliding down the other side of the wall away from Trost.

He has no time to process anything. Only gut wrenching fear. He screams and screams and screams as the ground races up to meet them.

The titan shakes the ground as it lands and pulls Eren close to save him from the fall. Despite his terror he doesn’t suffer any damage from the fall itself.

Eren stares up into the hideous grinning face of the titan. It’s long brown hair tickles the skin on his face and neck.

Eren starts squirming in its grip knowing that it’s pointless. Its long spindly fingers grasp him tight, preventing him from reaching his weapons or ODM gear.

“Idiot, will you calm down. It’s me, Ymir. You know one of your cluster?”

* * *

Luckily hearing her voice means that Eren finally stops kicking her.

His bright green eyes stare up at her in shock. Being part of her cluster, Eren can hear her speak. Previous cluster experimentation means he can’t see her. Though from the way he’s staring she gets the impression he’s trying to look for her human form inside the titan. She resists the urge to give him a shake, “Ok listen up. Get on my back and grab onto my hair. We’ve got some ground to cover and there’s plenty of titans nearby in case you hadn’t noticed -”

“Take me back up! I said I wasn’t going to run away!”

“Yeah, really too late for that now.”

Eren looks about to argue again, but as Ymir feared the titans nearby are starting to approach. A few had already gathered by the now blocked gate and more were starting to advance over the hill, the pink of their forms standing vividly out against the green landscape.

“Just grab on ok. It isn’t safe to talk here. Reiner and the others – they weren’t telling you the whole truth ok? There’s a lot you don’t understand and I want to help.”

That at least strikes a cord with Eren. He looks thoughtful and she can feel that her words have touched some kind of nerve.

“Look – we’re going somewhere safe just us. I’m on our side remember? I’ll tell you everything I know.”

The first titan gets to them before Eren can agree to anything but Ymir races quickly up it’s long reaching arm (ha, her titan form is small but it’s fast) and she destroys it quickly and viciously.

After that Eren clambers up on her back and seizes her hair, settles his legs either side of her shoulders, and they flee.

Fortunately, the titans following them loose interest pretty quickly as dozens of mounted scouts on horseback start returning to Trost. The titans can’t help themselves, and drawn by their compulsion (Ymir wishes she didn’t remember the feel of it) they dart after them.

She carries on. It strikes her now though – racing towards the outskirts of wall Maria that maybe the forest she’s thinking of is perhaps a bit to far away to be practical. They still have to get to wall Maria and then get to the outskirts. It was the first relatively secluded and safe place she had been able to think of at the time.

With her titan size and ability to climb, she’d had dominion over that woodland for a long time. Eaten a few foolish people wondering through. This all before she’d met – all before she _became_ a cluster member, back in the days when she was just another turned titan.

Regardless of whether it’s that forest or not though, she trusts forests to keep her and Eren safe enough whilst surrounded by titans. She heads due south as evening starts to set in. Recalling from training there’s woodland somewhere here that would surely suffice.

She doesn’t regret the decision to interfere. The others had been going to hand over Eren to their Commander and she wasn’t going to let that happened. They left her alone with her accidentally obtained titan form mainly because she mostly didn’t interfere with their plans.

There was no way Eren was going to do that, Ymir thought. So abort the kidnap with her own kidnap had been the best solution she could come up with. Get him fully up to speed on everything – and then – and she’d make it up after that.

She had a hazy goal, a hazy future that involved her cluster alive and waking up to Christa in her bed every day for the rest of her life. However long that life was. She’d – she’d get to that later. Get through the next moment.

Eren is trying to get her attention as they arrive at the ruins of a village. Of course there’s a lurking titan here. In such a tiny place though it becomes apparent that, whilst Eren does have his ODM gear and two swords, he’s not particularly useful as he is.

“You have to help me transform!” He yells at her.

“I can hear you, jeez calm down.”

“You have to tell - I haven’t – I don’t remember.”

Ymir remembers that he’s been body switching the whole time aside from the very first. The height of Eren’s titan form is certainly going to be a problem but she’s convinced she could take him in a fight if she had too. Also, he’d be a lot more useful in his other form that’s for sure.

“Ok, it’s – it’s pretty simple really. Annie always says intent, pain, focus.”

* * *

The transformation is intense. Eren sways on his feet once it finishes and surveys the world around him. He remembers the terror of earlier looking up into Ymir’s titan face. Now as a titan himself she only just reaches his mid thigh.

He could squash her if he wanted too. She couldn’t match him, he thinks. Then he recalls her taking down that other titan who was a similar height to him.

He shakes off the violent thoughts and remembers the reason he’s here. He knows she was being honest and he knows the others had secrets, like the secret his father kept. A quiet place and easy answers is hard to resist.

Eren puts aside the images of Armin and Mikasa for the moment. He’ll get back to them anyway. It is just Ymir and him now; he feels confident enough he could escape if he had too.

Eren reaches an arm down to Ymir and asks, “So, are you riding on my shoulders or what?”

Once she’s settled, Eren straightens, and he barely notices her weight. He can feel a kind of giddy glee race through her.

“I’ll keep an eye out for any titans!” She practically cackles.

“Where were we heading?”

“I’m aiming for that woodland over there, high trees out of the reach of titans is probably our best bet.”

They must look ridiculous; Eren thinks as he lumbers in the direction she suggests; the outline of the forest coming into view. It seems a safer place at least from any malicious humans or their cluster. A cluster he’s made no further effort to check in with. Though it’s easy to stretch a little, to feel heartbeat echoes all accounted for.

There’s a twinge of relief, which he pushes aside to start sorting through his thoughts, he wants to organise his questions. The one that keeps nagging at him persistently though is Annie and Reiner’s switching.

“Why did Annie switch with Reiner? Were you there?”

He keeps his eyes straight ahead and feels Ymir fidget on his shoulder; “Oh Annie was fighting Mikasa in order to kidnap you. I hijacked their kidnap with my own kidnap.”

The answer is a punch to the gut. Eren wrestles for a moment with all the implications of that statement. He knows that Ymir once again isn’t lying but the full blunt honesty – what’s – is Mikasa?

“Mikasa’s fine,” Ymir states before he can form the question, ”I confused things a bit when I grabbed you and other military members showed up. ”

“Why?” Eren asks, he’s too weary now to work up any real anger. Confusion pulses in his veins.

“Why did I grab you? I already said, the others – they have plans and I didn’t agree with them -”

“No! Why did they hide this? What do they want? What are their plans?”

The words all fall easily from his mouth and he feels Ymir gather herself for answers. Or at least that’s what he assumed was her intention was before two titans come swarming out the forest line.

Ymir takes one and Eren tries to take the other one. He misjudges a swipe though and the titan takes his whole arm before he can destroy it. Panicked, Eren freezes, and stares in mute fascination and horror as his arm starts to grow back in front of his eyes. It’s not his real arm after all, only his titan’s arm but still the horror of the moment is certainly something.

Ymir grabs his thigh to get his attention and they advance into the trees. The shadows are long but the tight spaces give them the advantage. They shed their titan forms once deep enough inside. They reason they can deal with the smaller titans that get this far using their swords and ODM gear.

The sun setting also gives them an additional advantage, the titans being sluggish at nightfall.

It’s so quiet. Eren feels giddy with the power, they’re hiding out in titan country. They’re arguably more dangerous than most individual titans they’ll meet.

The questions from earlier are still buzzing around in his brain but his stomach is also starting to rumble.

“Ymir, are you -”

“Come on, there’s an apple tree here. Help me out, good thing it’s autumn. We can probably forage a few other edible fruits. Remember anything about nuts? I wish Sasha were here. Anyway, we can get up into the canopy after, and talk about our cluster’s crazy agenda. Sound ok?”

Eren freezes in place, staring at her, her hairs coming loose from her hair tie. There’s a scratch across her cheek that’s practically disappearing whilst he looks.

He wants to trust them, Eren knows deep in his bone that’s what he wants. He wants it like he wants the titan’s destruction. Like he wants his mum –

Ymir is frowning at him and Eren shakes off his thoughts. He bites his tongue on the why questions. They then get to working shaking off the apples and gathering what fruit they can.


	5. Where do we go now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hold on to your hats folks we're doing a bit of narrative shift! 
> 
> I'm finally delivering on some of that crying I mentioned in the tags. 
> 
> Also the chapter count has gone up again but hopefully for the last time. I can do this in 12 darn it! 
> 
> Also also HAPPY HOLIDAYS! :D 
> 
> Stay Safe, Cubes X

Annie was starving. Night had fallen and finally their group had been relieved of duty. Trost was reclaimed and almost all the titans inside the city were dead, the remaining few objectively harmless till morning. Though Annie had heard talk of those inert titans being captured for studying by the scouts.

That was a problem for future Annie - sabotaging the Children of Ymir from learning too much about the titans wasn’t a vital mission objective, just a useful one. Present Annie wanted food and sleep. She surrendered her gear as requested and went off in search of food, though that was proving more difficult than expected. A makeshift camp had been established just behind the wall, tents and stores had all been confiscated for the soldiers.

The refugees were sent on further in, although that was a staggered process and she could spy various people camping outside the town limits. Surviving family members huddling together.

She ignored the slight tug of pity, causalities where expected in any conflict, though the atmosphere of the evening was strange. There was no blinding feeling of triumph that such a victory warranted, but nor was there the sick sombre horror of earlier. Instead, as she walked, Annie felt like she kept passing pockets of one variation or the other.

Quiet relieved sobbing of a family close together, one man with a haunted face drinking down something strong, an animated group of soldiers eating bread – Annie paused at that group.

She was directed back the way she came to a tent that had been set up to pass rations out to the soldiers. Military precision had clearly fallen a little by the wayside in the wake of current events.

Reiner and Bertholdt visited by her side as she joined other soliders in a queue.

“I saw Ymir and Eren in a forest gathering food – I didn’t get much time to check anything else,” Bertholdt updated them.

Annie nodded to show she’d heard. All heartbeats were steady and accounted for, that would have to do for the moment. Reiner groaned and rubbed at his eyes, “So they’re safe enough for now. We’re going to have to report to Zeke after we eat.”

Annie resisted the urge to sigh. She wanted sleep after this. It had been a _very_ long day. That had never really been on the cards though she knew.

“Ymir’s going to do her best to make sure we don’t hand Eren over to Zeke,” Reiner added. Bertholdt inhaled sharply and Annie did sigh aloud this time. As quietly as she could Annie muttered, “Are you surprised?”

Reiner growled back, “Well yes! She’s our cluster member and now she’s just going against us like that. I thought – I didn’t think she would try to betray us like that. Kidnapping Eren deliberately to keep him out of Zeke's way.”

He looks furious at the idea, brimming over with indignation. Annie resists the urge to roll her eyes. Ymir had always said she was loyal to them but didn’t mean she was loyal to Zeke and – and Reiner was kidding himself if he thought Eren wasn’t in some kind of danger from their commander. She wondered if he was just burying that knowledge somewhere.

It wasn't something she wanted to think about either.

“Zeke knows about Eren,” Bertholdt adds as they move forward. Annie raises her eyebrows at him and vaguely attempts to press forth her feelings of curiosity. He takes the hint and elaborates.

Annie gathers what meagre portions of food are available (the apple is an exciting prospect) whilst Bertholdt explains how Zeke had visited when Eren was operating Reiner’s body. They didn’t get the chance to converse but Zeke had seen that _Reiner_ hadn’t been able to see him and that was going to raise questions.

Annie was cut off from further thoughts about Zeke’s knowledge of clusters as she practically walked over Jean.

“Hey watch – Annie? Annie sit down and join us.”

Annie blinked and stared down at them. The strange atmosphere of the evening seemed perfectly captured here amongst some of her other cadets. The group was made up of Sasha, Connie, Jean, Marco and Christa.

In a flash of a moment she saw the beaming faces of Sasha and Connie, who would in the next breath draw her down into their exhilaration at the victory of the day, the giddiness over being alive. Jean was calmer, clearer headed and relieved but seemed to be attempting to rein in the animation of Sasha and Connie. Marco – Marco was clearly in the process of comforting Christa.

Christa _radiated_ misery. Her big blue eyes glassy with unshed tears and half a roll torn to pieces more than eaten in her hand.

Something twisted painfully inside her chest at the sight of it. Annie couldn’t look away. Connie, Sasha and Jean noticed her gaze.

“Ymir – you know,” Jean whispered. For a moment Annie was confused. Ymir was fine, fine enough to be causing them trouble actually. Then it dawned on her that Ymir was missing. That as far as the military was concerned was missing post titan combat. That was as good as a death sentence.

Ymir had left Christa behind as she ran off with Eren. A great sinking feeling started spreading inside Annie’s chest. It would be the easiest thing in the world to tell her to stop crying. To tell her Ymir was perfectly fine, alive and well in a forest with Eren –

And she couldn’t say a single thing because then she’d have to explain how she knew. It was a surprisingly awful secret. Here was a good simple kindness she couldn’t do. It would break Ymir’s heart to see Christa like this. Annie could easily imagine what Ymir would feel seeing this. Could practically feel it aching deep inside her now.

“Come on Annie – sit down already.”

“There’s plenty of space Annie.”

Connie and Sasha both insisted. Reiner made some vague protest, something about time and Zeke and their mission. Annie though, without meaning to, glanced up at Bertholdt, his expression conveying her feelings perfectly. Their bond just crystalized their mutual guilt and empathy. He gave a jerky helpless shrug, and then after another beat he nodded. He agreed with what she only just now realised she was going to do.

Annie sat opposite Christa, just next Jean.

“Are you kidding me?!” Reiner snapped behind her, “this doesn’t matter. None of them matter – Ymir’s not even dead. We have to tell Zeke and - Mikasa and Armin are spilling whatever stupid shit Eren told them to the military – we have no time for this.”

Annie could feel his impatience but she was in his cluster so she could also feel the tangle of emotions _under_ that. Deep in Reiner’s chest was a feeling he was running away from. Something that was cracking inside of him just as it was in her and Bertholdt. Christa’s pain hurt; her friend’s pain actually hurt and she never expected it too. Although it was Ymir's Christa so maybe they should have been prepared for that.

She vaguely hears Bertholdt say something to Reiner but before she can ask, they’re gone. She decides not to care; she’ll join them later after she’s eaten. Marco smiles a greeting at her as Jean begrudgingly shuffles up to make some more room.

“What a glorious victory huh? Eating rations we can scrounge on the floor -”

“We’re alive Jean - ” Connie started only to glance in panic at Christa. Sasha elbowed him and the subject abruptly changed.

“So hey Annie! What a day huh?” Connie began instead It was an attempt she supposed, he was still vibrating with excess adrenaline. She wondered when that would eventually wear off. He didn’t let her answer though and continued whilst gesturing around with his knife, “I thought they’d let Armin and Mikasa eat with us you know?”

“They’re under arrest -” Jean interrupted.

“I think the official story is taken for questioning,” Marco cut across.

Unwillingly Annie’s mind flashes again to the last time she’d seen Mikasa. She’d looked so furious and been so determined. Mikasa was a very good fighter, the best of the cadets with good reason. Annie recalls how she’d looked at her; she doubts that Mikasa knew she was fighting _Annie_ but she’d _known_ it wasn’t Eren. The fight had been strange for that. Mikasa had been pulling her punches, her aim to subdue and capture Eren’s body. Annie’s aim had been to flee; she honestly doesn’t know how it would have gone if titan form Ymir hadn’t arrived when she did.

Annie wonders a little, what a fight (a real pure fight) between her and Mikasa would be like. The kind of fight where they keep going till one of them can’t. She acknowledges rather grimly that a fight like that will probably come to pass one day. I don’t know who would walk out alive, Annie realises.

She shakes the morbid thoughts away though, drawn out by the noise of her companions. She shouldn’t have sat down. There was no point really. Christa was desperately trying not to cry opposite her and the others were arguing nonsense.

“Taken for questioning whilst Eren is under arrest.”

“Think they’ll execute him?” Sasha asks through a mouthful of bread.

“They can’t,” Jean snaps, just as Marco makes a noise of distress.

“They need Eren, getting Trost back was only possible because of Eren,” Jean points out stubbornly, “They’d be idiots to lose that advantage.”

They already have, Annie thinks, and I’m an idiot for being here. The military won’t be getting anything useful out of Mikasa and Armin that’s for sure. She pushes down any feelings she may have about their safety, now is not the time.

Annie quickly starts eating, regretting whatever previous surge of emotion led her to this decision. There’s nothing she can do here, nothing she should do here. Annie resolves to eat and leave, to find the others.

Despite her hunger though the food doesn’t taste right, and she can’t help staring at Christa. Christa whose whole focus seems to be on carefully picking apart the bread roll her in hand, the crumbs dropping to the ground. Sasha’s going to crack and ask for what’s left of the roll in a minute, Annie thinks.

Marco’s trying but Jean’s distracted him from his comforting duties, they’re talking about Armin and Eren. Finally, Christa starts crying. They’re small, silent tears. Annie tracks one as it dips down her nose and splashes to the ground.

There was a reason she sat down, Annie knows. It’s just a very bad idea. If Ymir was here to deal with this – Ymir’s left this mess behind and Annie can’t bear it.

Annie moves, putting herself the other side of Christa. She awkwardly bumps her shoulder. Christa jerks up to look at her. Annie offers the most comforting smile she can, it’s probably not that good but she’s trying.

“It’s ok to cry,” Annie says because she doesn’t know what else to say. Can’t think of what else would be comforting when the truth is off the table.

“I’m here,” she adds because that’s something Ymir would have said, “I’m here.”

Then she reaches out and places a hand on her arm. Christa nods but it seems to have been what she needed as she begins openly sobbing in earnest. Marco immediately puts his arm around Christa’s shoulder. Christa takes the comfort but not without seizing at Annie’s arm and then grabbing at her hand.

Everyone else can wait, Annie thinks quietly to herself.

* * *

Eren clutches what they’ve managed to gather as they scale a particularly tall tree. He and Ymir shift around their ODM gear so can comfortably settle down to devour their spoils. It’s all too sweet, but Eren doesn’t care. At least it’s something and it’s enough that he feels close to bloated after inhaling it.

He slumps back against the tree trunk, munching slowly through a final apple; Ymir’s thigh is warm next to his in the mild evening. It’s cloudy but there’s patches where the stars poke through, shining down on them up amongst the trees.

It’s peaceful.

After the hell of a day he’s had, Eren feels like he could get used to this. Ymir's feelings are similar, a pleasant hum next to him. In the quiet and the peace he reaches across and reassures himself that the other heartbeats are still there, it is comforting despite everything. He's drawn back to the moment by Ymir's voice. 

“We’ll have to hunt for a stream tomorrow, anything we can find that’s fast moving, bet this woodland has something like that -”

She halts her story abruptly and Eren feels a slice of some painful memory zip through her. There’s a flash of her time as a titan again.

“Ymir -”

“Yeah – yeah – sorry. It’s hard sometimes. I’ll just see things. See where I was. I spent – years like that. Like some kind of wild out of control monster before – before I changed back.”

Eren looks at her expectantly, filled to the brim with questions. He has so many of them. Ymir focuses intently on the apple in her hand, scratching at the shiny surface with her nails.

“Tell me everything,” he says, his voice low and determined.

“Yeah – I’m going to need you to ask an actual question. There’s – what do you want to know first?”

She’s right he realises. There’s a lot to ask. He thinks of Armin, and desperately ignores the guilty pang that goes through him, what would Armin asks first?

Armin would – Armin would want to know why they didn’t tell anyone Eren thinks. Possibly? Ok trying to think like Armin wasn’t the easiest. Wait.

“What’s their plan Ymir? What are Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner actually trying to do?”

“Oh that – bring about the genocide of the Children of Ymir as requested by humanity.”

She pauses and Eren hopes she’s going to keep going because that’s – that’s not really an answer. She keeps scratching at the apple skin.

“Ymir -” He snaps, anger starting to coil in his stomach. What are the Children of Ymir? According to whose wishes exactly? He thinks.

“I know – I know it’s just. This one is a big one ok and like – I can’t lie to you ok you know that and I know that. So just – you’re not human Eren. Everyone you know, our cluster, Mikasa, Armin, your parents – none of them are human. We’re what’s left of a species called the Children of Ymir -”

A sharp snapping sound makes her jump and stops her speech. Eren realises he’s dropped the apple he was holding and it’s snapped some twigs off the tree as it fell.

Ymir is staring at him, waiting for another outburst.

Eren realises he has the beginnings of one coiling in his chest. A storm of righteous fury is brewing inside of him, which will sweep him up. He'd trusted them and they'd lied to him. They answered the words he asked not the intention.

His cluster were against hu – were against everyone else inside the wall. They were here to cause destruction, except for Ymir apparently. They were – Eren feels sick. A deep sickening feeling twisting in his stomach that’s rises it’s way steadily up his throat. They weren’t on his side and his side was – was – how? Including his mother? These thoughts all race through his mind and then suddenly all he can see is the last moments of his mother.

His mother trapped under a building…

His mother being lifted up by titan…

“Shit, Eren your mum – I’m – fuck.”

Eren swallows down the desire to puke and clenches his fists to stop the shaking. It doesn’t make any sense, not yet but one thing starts to become crystal clear in his mind. Rage colours his vision. His other clusters members could transform into titans and were sworn to cause the destruction of everyone within the walls. Abnormal titans led the taking of Shiganshina.

“Eren -”

“Who is the colossal titan Ymir?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry Eren's got a lot more reacting to do. 
> 
> Any thoughts or questions please leave in the comments! :D


	6. Better questions and answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren learns more but doesn't quite manage a confrontation (yet). 
> 
> Bertholdt suffers different consequences. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has commented and kudos and read in general it's wonderful there's an auidence for this strange thing I wrote :D :D :D 
> 
> I have finally corrected the whole Shiganshina spelling situation as well - thank you for pointing that out XD 
> 
> Stay safe everyone! Cubes X

Ymir doesn’t say anything at first. Instead she shows him, shares one memory after another of Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner’s true forms. Forms she’s seen with her own eyes.

He sees exactly who they are, exactly who they’ve always been.

The rage is blinding and all consuming.

He’s going to kill them. Tear them apart.

Intention, focus and pain are the key to any transformation, Ymir had said. Eren’s already on his course of action as he raises his hand to his lips.

“Eren,” Ymir hisses, her fear is sharp, like the first bite of cold weather as you step outside, it catches him unawares, halts his momentum. For just a second he can’t feel his rage, or he can’t only feel his rage. Ymir’s feelings are there too, tangled up inside in his head. She’s scared for them and scared for him.

He brushes the feelings off determinedly. They’re not his; she’s didn’t have to do any of this. Whatever her stupid plan was they’re going to pay for what they’ve done. It doesn’t matter who they are ( _it doesn’t_ ) it matters what they’ve done.

He sinks his teeth into the flesh of his thumb. Nothing happens. He tries again. Again and again, it hurts and his skin parts and there’s blood and Ymir tries to stop him.

There’s a brief scuffle as he tries to avoid her arms and the branch isn’t big enough for that. Eren screams as he falls out of the tree but regains his senses enough to stop his descent with his ODM gear. He stays there for a moment suspended and clutching his stinging hand. Why _won’t_ it work?

Ymir uses her gear to join him further down the tree, “What was that supposed to accomplish genius?”

She’s still afraid, the air is humming with it and Eren wants it _out_ of his head. Wants to tear into Bertholdt (and Reiner and Annie). His heartbeat is loud inside his head but it’s barely any effort to find the others, to feel the others, just there beneath the surface and _always_ with him.

“I’m going back,” he snaps furiously.

“Right sure – that place back there you just ran away from. With all the soldiers?”

In this moment Eren doesn’t care, “ _They’re_ there and that’s where I have to be.”

They glare at each other and Eren knows she can feel what he feels.

“They have to pay Ymir, they have too. My mother – Bertholdt – it’s _their_ fault.“

Ymir’s expression though is soft and she’s looking pointedly at his bleeding hand, “Yeah, you’re not conflicted about that at all.”

Eren inhales sharply at the implication, is that why it’s not worked? He looks down at his bleeding hand. Is that a lack of focus?

He does though, he wants them dead, wants to get his hands on Bertholt especially. Wants to tear them apart, make them pay for everything. There’s a thought he’s trying to ignore though, the knowledge he’ll feel it when he hurts them. Only this afternoon he had been _in_ Reiner’s body. There’s a lurching cliff edge of thoughts that follows that one and Eren drops straight over it. He could break them into pieces and he’d feel every moment of it. And then his friends, Reiner, Bertholdt and Annie would be dead.

His anger can’t really hold up in the face of that and he feels sick to his stomach instead.

Ymir is relieved; Eren feels the edges of it. She’s relieved that he’s calming if only a little. He hates this, hates that she knows every twist of his feelings; they’re not his anymore.

“You’d feel it you know, if you -”

“You were going to let them destroy us,” Eren hisses back at her.

That shuts up her up. Whatever defence she’s going to make of the rest of the cluster that doesn’t excuse the other issue. That people died horribly because of their choices, like his mother.

“There was one of me and three of them,” she snaps back, but he can feel her guilt and sympathy rises in him in response whether he likes it or not.

“There’s two of us now, and I couldn’t let them hand you over to their commander. They’re not perfect soldiers or warriors or whatever you call it - Eren and – and - ”

Eren waits for Ymir to form her words, his hand throbbing and his jaw aches from clenching it so tight. He can’t relax though, not yet.

He watches Ymir swallow, then raise her eyes definitely to his and say, “We’re all a cluster Eren, the only titan cluster that’s existed in the last 100 years, apparently. I’m on our side and I think it’s about time we really formed an our side.”

That startles a short harsh laugh out of Eren, “That’s what they came here to do Ymir – did you miss that when you joined up with them?”

Ymir frowns back at him, “I didn’t have a lot of choice. 70 years or so as a titan – the regular kind - then I ate their other companion and hey presto.”

Eren braces himself but from the look on Ymir’s face she’s clearly holding back any more memory sharing. He relaxes a little; he’s seen enough people be consumed by those monsters. Those monsters that used to be people. People like him.

There’s a persistent throbbing now just behind his eyes along with his hand. He works his jaw loose a little to ease the frustration. He misses the rage that had consumed him a moment ago. It’s just out of reach and he’s left instead with a strange despondent exhaustion.

It has been a _very_ long day. In the quiet moment he stares down at his hand, which despite the throbbing has now stopped bleeding. They heal so fast, because of what they are.

“We have to stop them,” Eren begins, because whatever else he’s feeling right now. That’s true.

“Yeah, that’s the plan,” Eren glares at her and she amends, “Well that’s what I’m trying to do anyway – I don’t have a long-term plan right now.”

“How do I visit them?”

“Really? Right now? Can’t we sleep first -?”

“Like they’re sleeping?!”

Ymir pauses for a moment, head tilted ever so slightly, “They are actually. Can’t you tell? It’s not hard to just reach for them. Listen for it.”

Eren tries, he stretches out across the connection, pulls at the string in his mind that connection. It’s strange and jerky and suddenly he’s in camp and there they are.

The three of them curled together in a large room filled with sleeping soldiers. Annie and Bertholdt with their backs pressed against each other, Reiner facing Bertholdt, their hands grasped together in their sleep.

Ymir stands quietly next to him as they stare down at them.

“You can wake them up for that fight now if you want,” she mutters. Her tone gets across her thoughts about that very well without him needing to feel her distain about it.

Standing there staring at them Eren feels how uneasy Bertholdt’s sleep is, can also see his twitching. Reiner and Annie are gone, practically dead to the world in slumber. The exhaustion seeps into his bones and for a moment he wonders if he could see their dreams. If he could reach – it’s too much. This is too much. He hates them and he’s so tired, as tired as Ymir.

He’s back in the forest abruptly and accidentally. He makes a half grasp for the connection but gives up as Ymir rejoins him. Turning to her he concedes, “Sleep.”

* * *

Bertholdt awakens as noise and activity starts happening around him. He reaches across the bond quickly. Annie’s awake and gathering up her bedroll and Reiner is still asleep. He hesitates for a moment and then stretches across to Eren and Ymir.

There they were in the trees, asleep. The light is faint so the chance of active titans is slim but Bertholdt scans the trees anyway and doesn’t find any movement.

It’s good though because it means he doesn’t have to wake them. There’s a persistent knot in his stomach that settled just after they reported to Zeke last night. Bertholdt knows they’ve effectively handed over Eren and Ymir to Zeke’s judgement.

Given Ymir had only joined them just as they were breaching the wall, Zeke had never met Ymir in person. It was the only way to establish visiting between non – cluster members. Until now there’d never been a real need for it. Ymir was simply part of the group. Their cluster status (the first in at least 100 years) had been a shock to their superiors. The nine intelligent titans, according to legend were supposed to become a cluster after their first transformation. Attempts to recreate that had been completely futile until suddenly Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner had merged during their assault on Shiganshina.

The orders were clear after that, continue the mission but observe and report, the name (cluster) and some vague stories were given to them, and the rest they’d been working out themselves over the past 5 years.

Bertholdt shakes off his thoughts, it was done and Zeke was coming to find them. There was still the mission to accomplish and how he felt about it wasn’t important. He casts another look at Ymir and Eren again before returning back.

The hall is coming alive and everyone is being marshalled for various tasks. Their job is to clear away the dead for burial. Reiner attempts to make some kind of protest but Annie has set her course and goes to join Christa again.

Frustrated Reiner snaps, ”What good is that going to do?”

Bertholdt just looks at him, tries to reach for words. He understands Reiner’s feelings (of course) but if anything Reiner has always been bad at understanding his own feelings. Bertholdt feels Reiner’s worry over what Zeke is going to do to Ymir and his angry that has feelings about doing what is necessary.

Bertholdt has often wondered if the three of them have become a cluster because they had grown up together and were similar in age. Though that didn’t explain Marcel not being one of them and then – then Ymir had eaten him and that had been that.

“She doesn’t want Christa to suffer,” Bertholdt finally settles on - that’s the best answer he can give.

“Everyone is going to suffer,” Reiner snaps.

“Yes,” Bertholdt agrees, and then silently adds in his mind that he wishes Reiner wouldn’t have to suffer. But that’s not his call. There will be suffering anyway but especially now with their current aims. He tries to stop his thoughts from going to Ymir and Eren, but they do. They’re waking up – or at least Ymir is stirring now.

Another quick check on Annie and she’s walking with Christa as they gather her gear. The soldiers near them are talking with excitement about the captured titans, that’s another problem they’ll need to deal with.

Bertholdt pulls himself back from the connection and gratefully focuses on the here and now. He needs something to do with his hands. Needs to stop thinking about everything and worrying at everyone.

Their plan is at least a little back on track. They still need to find the founding titan and ideally cause as much death as possible as they do it. Zeke had commended them for their efforts so far last night.

Bertholdt tries to hold on to that, hold to his lessons, tries to remember their monsters, all of them and that’s why they deserve this. That this end is coming for them but those thoughts disappear as they start gathering up the remains of the dead.

It’s grisly work but finally it takes Bertholdt out of his head and away from all the spiralling thoughts. Connie and Marco are also surprisingly soothing company - neither of them prone to dark moods for long. Even in the face of their current situation they were naturally more buoyant in spirit.

Bertholdt actually finds himself laughing at Connie’s ridiculous reaction to their moving a titan upchuck ball, which cracks as they shift it, goo easing out. Sasha a little further away also mocks him for the jerky elaborate dance he performs to keep himself clean.

“Shut up! This is the _worst._ ”

“You’re the worst.”

Marco catches Bertholdt’s eye and grins at him, all bright eyed and freckled. It’s a good moment and Bertholdt gives a small smile back. A stray thought that asks if Marco deserves what will come drift across Bertholdt’s mind before he shuts it down hard. He wonders how long he can do this before something breaks.

They resume their duties to the sound of Connie and Sasha teasing each other, clearing away what they can onto the cart. After a little while Marco asks, “So you and Reiner?”

Bertholdt’s heart rate immediately picks up.

“Yes?” He manages as quietly as he can. What could Marco have noticed? Where they talking to loudly last night? About Ymir and Eren?

His alarm is enough that Reiner appears, visiting at his side, his face serious and intent. Bertholdt hopes he’s not in the middle of something because that really won’t help anything.

“How did it happen? How did you get – get to the fraternising?” Marco asks in a rush. His face is pink and after a moment he does a quick glance around to confirm no one else can hear them.

Bertholdt blinks at him surprised, that’s not what he expected at all. What’s between him and Reiner is one of the best things that have ever happened to him. Bertholdt also knows that Reiner only kissed him that first time because he could feel how Bertholdt felt about him.

He can’t say that though and Marco is looking at him in a soft imploring way. He’s asking Bertholdt for advice – as a friend, about a boy he likes. Bertholdt gives a slightly hopeless glance at Reiner who just looks utterly confused.

“Your problem,” Reiner says before disappearing but there’s a smile tugging at his lips.

Marco continues, “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It’s just – there’s someone and I – I want him to – well I want him, I suppose, if he agrees.”

Bertholdt swallows again and desperately reaches for words, words that are as close to the truth as he can get.

“I showed him how I felt. It – I didn’t know how to tell him so I just spent all the time I could with him and – luckily he saw that. He saw it and he wanted me too,”

It’s the best he can manage and Bertholdt feels kind of like an idiot.

“That’s all I have I’m afraid – it wasn’t anymore complicated than that,” that of course was lie, but the complications were not something he was about to go into, “We wanted each other and no has stopped us and we’re trying to be discrete.”

Bertholdt hopes that’s enough and from the soft smile Marco gives him he thinks that might be the case.

“Ok, thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Bertholdt says and they carry on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts/Questions please leave in the comments! :D


	7. Carry On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Reiner has a headache and Ymir & Eren make a decision.
> 
> So first of all WOW! Everyone who's commented (yes I will respond to all of you just watch me!), kudos and read this fic thank you so much! 
> 
> It's amazing to see that people are interested in this oddball idea I had. 
> 
> Second, please enjoy chapter 7. It's the last of the slower chapters and things will finally start picking up in chapter 8 I promise!
> 
> As always stay safe Peeps! Cubes X

Reiner feels the beginning of a headache coming on. It’s pulsing just behind his eyes, the kind that lingers for hours if he’s not careful.

Who knew that Armin was capable of causing this kind of trouble?

Armin, and Mikasa for that matter, have been released from military questioning. They’d been held for barely a full day, let go just in time for lunch apparently. An afternoon of helping to clear away Trost and then they’ll join the other cadets in a rushed evening spent swearing their allegiance to their preferred branch of the military. And they’d come with a plan.

It makes Reiner want to punch something. Eren and Ymir were outside wall Rose, Zeke was up to speed and everything looked like it was getting back on track. Trust Armin to potentially ruin the situation.

Luckily the other cadets look doubtful and confused, Jean’s the one to break the silence, “Armin, you -you think that one of the scouts can turn into a titan? Like Eren?”

Armin nods an affirmative; Mikasa sits by his side a silent watchful guard. She’s barely said anything at all since re-joining them, the very air around her holds a promise of violence. Honestly, that’s always impressed Reiner as much as it frightens him; Annie has the same kind of ability. He’s bigger than both of them but they have a presence that packs a certain punch and always has, it’s the sort of thing that makes you think twice before you pick that fight. Having fought them both it’s not an experience he’s keen to relive.

Connie chimes in, “Ok you’re going to have to run this all past me again.”

“Really all of it Connie?” Jean snaps at him, “So people are capable of changing into titans now -”

“Look, I don’t want everyone to argue. I understand this is a lot,” Armin cuts across, entering that little confidence zone of his. That odd moment when he seems to suddenly find some fire for whatever he needs to do and isn’t nervous anymore.

“But here’s the thing – when Eren escaped after Trost -”

“But you said he was grabbed by a titan - ” Jean interrupted unable to help himself, “he’s probably dead. Our best chance at actually fighting back against the titans - ”

“It didn’t eat him,” Mikasa informs them, voice cold. Reiner wonders if she’s threatening the universe with that statement, _telling_ the titan that took Eren it better not have eaten him. Well, she's not wrong. Jean can’t keep eye contact with her after that, he flusters under her gaze, allowing Armin breathing room again.

“The titan grabbed him and then _ran away_. That’s abnormal behaviour. And Eren said there were others. Or he implied there were others like him – that he shared a consciousness with them. The ability to body switch isn’t outside the realm of possibility either if we start looking at it like that.”

“Based on what?” Reiner snaps, his head really hurts now. Bertholdt knocks his knee against Reiner’s, concern leaking across their connection. Reiner promptly shuts his mouth and puts down what constitutes lunch today. His stomach is churning too much to bother eating it anyway.

Annie has been completely quiet the whole time, and, as has been the norm today, Christa is still glued to her side. The way Annie watches Armin though, that’s something Reiner should have probably noticed before. This is going to be bad, he thinks.

Armin answers his question, “When he was trying to escape – Mikasa could tell he wasn’t Eren.”

Reiner really wishes he’d had the chance to practice pretending to be Eren. No one else seems to want to question that particular detail either, after all who else knows Eren as well as Mikasa. It’s just the rest of Armin’s plan that needs hashing out now.

Marco, sweet ridiculous Marco, gets the ball rolling again, “So you want us to join the Survey Corps and find out who the other titan shifters are?”

Armin explains, “That’s part of it. The scouts are planning another trip beyond the wall, as soon as possible. Eren might be gone for now but we know where his fathers cellar is. It’s the best chance we have of learning something. There’s also a good chance that’s where they would have taken Eren. Mikasa and I are going; Eren and the information he might be able to lead us to is vital for us – for humanity to survive.”

There’s something to the way he speaks which makes Reiner think he’s made this speech already, it’s not a plea for just Eren’s life. That would only work on Mikasa. He forces down the thought that such a plea has already worked on Ymir.

“But why do you think there’s a titan in the scouts?” Marco presses.

“That abnormal titan turned up just as the scouts returned to Trost,” Mikasa says. Armin nods, elaborating, “Otherwise why had they taken so long to grab Eren? Why block up the hole in Trost at all unless they had to stall for time?”

Reiner’s stomach continues to twist uncomfortably. Faced with this situation he honestly doesn’t know what he should do, what the best course forward is. He can’t think of a good way to dissuade Armin from his reasoning, at least not without having to give away the truth. He looks around the group to gauge their reaction. None of them have had any reason to distrust Armin’s observations; they’re kept everyone here alive more than once in the past few days. Their thoughtful expressions show they know this.

Reiner then checks in with his cluster. Annie won’t catch his eye and Bertholdt has a slightly pained and panicked look on his face, and there’s nothing but a kind of anxious focus through the connection. It would be so much more useful if they could talk through their minds. Is Reiner meant to do everything to keep this show on the road?

“What if the titan shifters know you’re coming?” Reiner asks and gets Bertholdt kicking his leg under the table again, which is _not subtle_ at all.

Armin frowns at him slightly, “they have no reason too.”

“Forget that – joining the survey corps is a death sentence regardless,” Jean hisses.

“It’s the right thing to do though,” Christa’s voice is quiet but it’s the first time anyone has really heard her speak in awhile. The shock of it stops another squabble from rising.

“You can count on me Armin,” Christa says and the soft smile she gives him must tug on everyone’s heartstrings a little.

“I’m in,” Sasha agrees as well, “although you’re going to have to explain what you want to count on me for exactly again. I was distracted.”

Reiner realises that Sasha is the only one of their group to have finished all her food. Armin takes a deep breath and explains his reasoning again. There are titan shifter spies inside the military (correct), they’ve been here since the fall of Shiganshina (correct) and with Eren as a potential loose canon out of the way they clearly have new plans to enact which focus upon humanities -ha- complete destruction (also correct).

Despite his strong start Armin’s conclusions start going downhill after that. Armin thinks said spies are in the scouts and that they’re going to sabotage the scouts’ efforts to get to Eren’s father’s cellar in Shiganshina. His plan amounts to assisting Commander Erwin in both the retaking of Shiganshina and rooting out the spies.

Suddenly Reiner feels Annie’s hand on his shoulder – she’s visiting whilst sitting just down from him. Visiting Annie holds a finger to her lips and shakes her head. Bertholdt glances up and then glances at Reiner – ok, ok – he’ll be quiet. He can do that.

Armin finishes outlining his recruitment speech and looks at all of them in turn, “We – Mikasa and I could do this better with those we trust beside us and people who also know Eren.”

It’s not a proper outlined plan yet but it is the beginnings of a suicide mission. The headache hasn’t gone away but Reiner sees a parting of the clouds at least a little. There is a chance that whatever Eren’s father left in that cellar might prove an issue, but the scouts will have a hell of a time getting there, past the titans and Zeke if necessary.

Zeke’s instructions had been for them all to move into the capital to get to the founding titan – but he’d said he trusted their judgement in going forward. Trusted their decisions. That statement had caused a swell of pride in Reiner’s chest, which hadn’t abated yet. So, the way Reiner saw it, someone would have to keep an eye on Armin by joining the scouts’ regiment, and that might as well be him.

A nagging worry twists inside him for a brief moment about what keeping an eye on Armin might have to entail. Reiner pushes it aside; it’s not worth thinking about until they get there. He glances at Bertholdt whilst the others make their opinions known more loudly and says, “I’m going with Armin.”

Bertholdt frowns at him for a moment and then nods, “I’ll go with you.”

Jean makes a scene, huffing and puffing and wondering off without giving a clear answer to anyone. Marco follows him. Armin doesn’t press them but Christa, Sasha and Connie agree to join with Armin and Mikasa.

“I’m not joining your suicide mission,” Annie tells Armin, and Reiner thinks that’s all she needed to say. Their intense little staring contest after is a bit excessive. Annie eventually breaks the moment by leaving. Christa looks sad at the answer and Armin openly watches her walk away.

Reiner cuts across the moment by stating his and Bertholdt’s position no turning back now.

* * *

Ymir wakes up reasonably well rested but then the day starts going down hill immediately after that.

First there’s a keen 5-metre titan attempting to climb the tree to reach them. Not ideal. Eren – the idiot – had to then make matters worse by shifting immediately to deal with it and, after knocking one tree down practically summons a host of titans.

That was their morning gone but at least it dulled the weird churning fury and other intense emotions he had been projecting everywhere.

Ymir instructs Eren to keep an eye out whilst she relieves herself, wondering a short distance into the woodlands to get some privacy. Afterwards she lingers for a bit to take advantage of the relative peace and quiet.

She considers what else Eren needs to be brought up to speed on. She’s already told him about their other cluster members plans and explained about the children of Ymir. She thinks about his titan shifter knowledge in more detail. She should probably mention that once in titan form visiting becomes impossible -

There is rustling nearby.

Ymir is instantly on the offensive; a big titan couldn’t have possibly gotten this close without alerting Eren, surely it would also have made a lot more noise?

The rustling continues but it sounds like it’s moving _away._ Confused Ymir charges forward unthinkingly and shoves aside the bushes and there she sees a _retreating_ titan.

For a moment she’s struck utterly dumb at the strange sight. She blinks a few times to process the image. That’s abnormal titan behaviour and certainly something she’s never seen before. Titans don’t run away. Even if you’re considerably bigger and have just killed a lot of other titans they never turn and flee. They just keep coming. Surely that couldn’t have been a shifter? Annie, Bertholdt and Reiner said those you always knew when you met them?

“Ymir?”

Eren’s voice breaks her out of her thoughts. Right, next stage first, weird titan behaviour second. They gather some food and settle back up in another tree to talk. They’ll have to watch their gas supplies soon, they were starting to dwindle now.

“We have to stop the others,” Eren begins angrily, “And we need to go back to do that.”

“You’ve thought this all through then?”

“I’m serious,” he snapped, “And I know you are too about – about saving everyone. And I do have a plan, actually.”

Ymir nods after a moment - she certainly doesn’t have any bright ideas. Eren’s idea isn’t all that better to be honest – they hide out till nightfall so there won’t be any titan activity. Then they sneak back into Trost, find Armin before the military finds them, and reveal all the information they have.

“That’s it?”

“And your plan was?”

Ymir bites her tongue, at least Eren isn’t suggesting pummelling the others to a pulp, although she’s doubtful that’s completely off the cards - it’s Eren after all. He seems calmer now in the face of all he’s learnt. Having some kind of plan probably helps with that too.

How kind the military are going to be towards the others is another issue, there’s also Zeke to think about. Eren’s right though, Ymir has not had any better ideas. Something needs to be done.

Going back is something; they can’t wait in this forest forever. Christa’s face flashes through her mind and a force of feelings rushes through her chest. Yes, going back would be good.


	8. Annie, don't!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I regret nothing! 
> 
> Stay safe peeps, Cubes X

The speeches went on for what felt like hours before the cadets were finally allowed to make their choices. Annie thinks it wouldn’t be the military without ceremony. After swearing allegiances the cadets and representatives were ushered into a grand room in one of the fancier state buildings of Trost. Apparently some higher up had decreed this was worthy of a party, or at least nicer food and alcohol in fancier surroundings.

Annie intended to eat and then get an early night. The bodies of the dead were all cleaned away (at least from all public spaces – she bet some nasty shocks were left for someone though) so it was time to move the military on. Leave the rebuilding of Trost to the citizens. Tomorrow Annie would be leaving with the military police for the capital. Then finally she’d find that damn founding titan, consume or subdue them and _leave._

She was tired, it had seeped deep into her bones and she was dragging it around, an ache that would not dissipate. She was doing her duty, following her mission honouring her father. If only it wasn’t all so _draining_.

Christa had hugged her before the allegiances, even promised they would see each other again, a well intentioned promise she couldn’t possibly keep. Especially considering that she was joining the scouts.

Also the faster Annie completed her part of the mission, the less time Bertholdt and Reiner would have to spend watching Armin, who was not only a highly perceptive person but also on the look out for titan spies. It was a disaster waiting to happen, although Armin’s death would only be a benefit to their goal.

Annie recoils at the thought, it might be practical but the idea makes her skin crawl. She needs to kill the feelings that care about Armin. There is no space to care. If she lets herself care about Armin then she knows that’ll open the door to her feelings about Ymir and Eren.

She’s been trying not to think about what will happen when Zeke finally catches up to them. That’s why she’s not actively checked on them, though it’s as easy as always to reach a little now, to feel their heartbeats and the edges of their feelings. Ymir is curious – or preoccupied somehow and Eren is – Eren is standing beside her.

“Eren,” the word slips out before she can help it, quietly at least. He looks around confused for a moment before facing her, and then his expression folds in a scowl. Eren descends into anger so easily and it always seems to burn. Annie, by comparison, feels dread encase her, cold and heavy to weigh her down.

“Ymir told me everything,” he hisses, “you _lied_ to me.”

“That’s what you’re most upset about?” Annie snaps back unable to help it. It’s a defensive response. They can’t – he can’t. Not here. Not now. It’s too busy. And she can’t bear it, can’t bare the expression Eren is giving her – the way it cuts something deep inside her chest, the pain of it.

Annie turns and flees. His voice – a voice only she can hear follows her out of the room.

“You can’t do it – nobody here deserves to die. Slaughtering all of us like animals – that makes you a monster. More than a monster of than whatever we are. Annie – wait – Annie!”

She gets out into the corridor and makes a break for the main doors. Or tries to when she collides with someone. Someone it would be sensible to avoid forever.

“Oh I’m sorry – hi Annie,” Armin says.

She gets a sharp burst of happiness from Eren across the connection.

“Armin!” He exclaims.

“Sorry,” Annie says and then goes to walk past him. Armin stops her by reaching out to grasp her forearm. Surprised, Annie freezes, staring back into his bright blue eyes.

“Sorry,” He mumbles but doesn’t let go and carries on in a determined manner, “I wanted to talk to you actually, now and privately – if – if that’s ok?”

Annie is convinced that this private word isn’t anything she wants to hear. There’s a group of scouts, identifiable by their green cloaks, by the door but it’s otherwise empty. Ignoring Eren, of course.

“What – why?” Eren wonders and then he huffs in frustration, “I hate that you can’t hear me.”

Annie doesn’t move, she sees no easy way of getting rid of both of them. Eren’s itching for a fight and Armin still hasn’t let go of her arm.

“Armin let go,” Annie says instead.

“Please, just listen to me?” Armin asks but he releases her arm from his grip.

“I’m not going anywhere more private – say what you have to say,” Annie informs him. She can always walk away if she has too. This might be the last time they speak and she can’t quite bear the idea of being abrupt with him now.

Armin does a quick glance around; Annie takes the opportunity to glare at Eren and put a finger to her mouth. He splutters at her angrily, she ignores his retort to focus again on Armin.

“I know you care about what happens to Eren too.”

That shuts Eren up, sudden desperate longing leaks from him across the connection. Annie doesn’t let any emotion show across her face. None of this looks good.

“Armin, Eren’s dead.”

“ _What?!_ No I’m not.”

“I don’t think that’s true – and I think you know that’s lie.”

Annie blinks at him – shocked for a moment. Armin’s face is determined, she notes his hands balled into fists. He’s shaking slightly. She feels a distant sense of alarm start to come lurching towards her. She does her best to squash it down.

“What are you suggesting Armin?” she forces the words out as calmly as she can.

Armin swallows, and then breaks eye contact with her to look at Eren. Or close to where Eren is – Eren notices to, he takes a tentative step forward, “Armin?”

Annie’s glances between them both transfixed and then – then she realises just what she’s doing.

Armin asks, “Who do you keep looking at Annie?”

“No one,” she says, what other option does she have but denial.

“See I don’t think that’s true, I used to notice before that you would look at things which aren’t there and talk under your breath sometimes,” he flushes red as he admits this and Annie feels warm at the realisation that she’s so often had his attention. Horror also starts to twist inside her stomach.

“I occasionally talk to myself – big deal.”

“Eren did that too after he first became a titan.”

“Really? You’re accusing me based on that?”

“No, Mikasa recognised your fighting style. It’s unique.”

Alarm arrives, ramping up her heartbeat till she can hear it in her ears. Armin _knows_. He knows and she has to deal with this now.

“She could tell it wasn’t Eren – that someone else was looking out at her and she knew she’d fought them before, recognised you after we talked about it. It was the talking to the air – like Eren – that stuck in my mind, but all I could think about for awhile was that he kept mentioning seeing other people. He asked me if I could see _her_ and he put his hand out and held someone. Like they were physically there. It didn’t add up with his description of visions afterwards. It sounded like that her was someone he wanted to protect, someone he cared about.”

Eren makes a whooping noise and Annie betrays herself by glancing at him again before she can help it. Eren grins at her in response.

“You can’t succeed Annie. Armin knows, Mikasa knows, Ymir and I are coming back and we’re going to stop you, we’re not going to die because of you.”

You’re such a fool, Annie thinks, there’s only one way this can go now.

“So – what was your plan Armin? After confronting me.” Annie says softly.

“Am I wrong?”

Annie doesn’t answer, tries to think around the panic, and tries to access the best way to handle the coming fight. Another look and she knows the scouts are watching. It dawns on Annie that the scout’s cloaks could easily conceal weapons. There are 6 of them blocking the door and wait – that’s Mikasa.

She’s outnumbered and it’s clear the intention is to take her into custody. Armin and Mikasa have convinced the scouts enough to do that, her mind unhelpfully supplies suggestions on what the frightened military might do with a titan shifter in their care.

That leaves a fight and the surest win for her is a transformation. Her titan form will take the building down and that’ll at the least harm and slow –

If she shifts the building will come down. The building containing Armin, Bertholdt, Reiner, Christa and – and all the other cadets. Bertholdt and Reiner should survive the destruction - especially if she gives them some warning but the others – there are windows, the main door and the building is only 3 – 4 stories high. That’s not that much stone…

A cold calculating part of her mind points out the more dead here and now, the fewer to come after her later. She feels sick to her stomach at the thought.

Annie tugs sharply at the cluster connection and proceeds to stall for time, “What now Armin?”

Reiner and Bertholdt appear as Armin answers, “I told them – the military what I suspected. Commander Erwin hopes you’ll come quietly and that – an agreement can be reached.”

Annie hears the sound of swords being drawn (the scouts at the door) but no one makes a move to approach them.

“What the hell Annie?” Reiner hisses and Eren turns on them.

“Armin’s worked it out, he knows who you are. This is it! You can’t carry out your plan now.”

In that Eren is right, she’s not going to the capital the way she’d planned. Reiner and Bertholdt know the situation. Now they’d know what she was going to have to do. Annie takes a deep breath and raises her hand, placing her thumb lightly against her ring.

Her cluster knows what that means, and Eren charges forward to stop her but Reiner gets in the way. They both go down in a furious angry heap. She can’t help a wince at the way Eren elbows Reiner in the face but she manages to drag her attention away from their vicious scuffle. She hopes they’re hiding their physical forms well enough to not show any signs of this visit.

Armin tries to track her eye movements, “are you getting input? From the others like you?”

Annie laughs then, a little hysterically; this wasn’t part of the plan. Bertholdt is beside her radiating anxiety, and Annie knows that she needs to act now. She needs to _leave_ , except her limbs feel sluggish, not completely her own.

“You monsters! Monsters! Ymir told me everything and you’re going to pay for what you’ve done,” Eren’s screaming and Reiner is trying to grind his face down into the floor.

Annie wishes she knew the words – the lie – that would save her from this fight. She knows though that such words don’t exist. It was always going to end here, it was always going to go this way. All she needs to do is transform and most of the harm will be collateral damage a result of the process.

Why can’t I move faster? Annie wonders. Her movements still feel clumsy. The words “stand back” slip out of her mouth before she can help it. The fear that flashes across Armen’s face is just another cut inside her chest along with all the others.

Berthold’s hand snaps out and closes around her hand, “Wait! Annie, don’t!”

* * *

A few minutes ago – it feels like another time – Bertholdt had found Reiner hiding between a pillar and tapestry in the fancy room where the celebrations were.

He’d been shoving warm scones into his mouth like his life depended on it. There were raisins in them. He’d grinned around one and then offered up the remaining three to Bertholdt. Bertholdt had rolled his eyes at him before slipping into the hiding space.

They’d both fallen silent, listening to Marco and Jean voices as they’d strolled past their hiding place. Marco had been saying something about how good the food was.

“He’s not wrong, Sasha would have had them all if I hadn’t,” Reiner muttered once their voices had disappeared. Bertholdt laughed.

“Think he’s worked up the nerve to talk to Jean yet?” Reiner asked as he passed Bertholdt a scone.

A scone he was still holding when his other hand stopped Annie from cutting herself with the ring.

He’d stopped her.

He stares at Annie and wishes he could form the words to explain why. Why she should stop: because Marco might not have spoken to Jean yet, because Sasha deserved to enjoy the good food, because Christa didn’t know Ymir was alive, because no one here should have to die.

Those are not good reasons, he knows that ( _he knows_ ) but that’s not what it feels like. All he feels in that moment is pain.

“Annie,” he whispers, “I’m sorry.”

He’s sorry for a lot of things, Annie shakes her head and grips his hand tightly in response. A moment settles between them and lingers for much longer than a moment. There are no more words. Bertholdt honestly couldn’t tell if the guilt, the misery and the dawning horror was originally more his or hers but in that moment it was theirs.

“I can’t,” Annie whispers. The realisation is a knife in her chest. Bertholdt feels the embrace of her father in a sudden sharp memory and his cheeks (or maybe hers) are wet with tears. Bertholdt is relieved, relieved and ashamed. They’re weak and they’ve failed.

Reiner wouldn’t have cracked like this, Bertholdt thinks. He looks at Annie and nods, agrees with the only other choice left. The moment is over and he carefully lets go of her hand.

Armin’s voice is barely a whisper, “You can’t?”

Annie raises her arms, “I surrender.”

The commotion of the scouts essentially chaining Annie up is what causes Eren and Reiner to stop fighting. They react predictably, Eren is jubilant and Reiner is furious. He hisses out Zeke’s name and dread drops deep in Bertholdt’s stomach. This moment may be over but there are consequences.

Then Eren gives a blood-curdling scream. The pain is indescribable – Bertholdt feels something cut through both his legs (wait no those are Eren’s legs) – through muscle and bone and he’s _falling_. It’s agonising. His own scream gets caught in his throat (luckily) but he collapses to floor, dropping the scone. Reiner lies next to him cursing under his breath.

Eren – oh god _Eren._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See! I promised the pace would start to pick up XD As always please leave comments (or pure emotion), questions and kudos down below. Don't worry I am working on chapter 9.


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